I still have a lot of anxiety over my addict. Which is completely natural considering everything that has happened this past year. He's home from rehab and seems to be very focused. But, he is in the early stages of recovery and I am all too familiar with the lying that comes with addiction. He is required to attend 3 NA meeting a week. Yesterday, he wanted to go to the 4pm meeting at the Reality Center. I usually get that uneasy feeling and totally stress whenever he's out without me. Constanly wondering if he is where he says he is. But yesterday, I gave him the keys and let him have at it. I didn't stress out about it. I didn't worry if he actually went to the meeting. I felt calm. All I could think was, this man has signed a contract with the treatment center. If he screws this up he loses all of his benefits. He is also very aware of what my expectations are. If he screws this up he loses me, his kids, his home, his dog and all that is good in his life. If he screws up, I will find out about it. But until then, I'm not going to let it ruin my day. I by no means fully trust his lying ass yet. But I have come to accept that whatever happens is going to happen no matter what I do or don't do. It's no use worrying over the "what if's".
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