Hugs back to you, Pat. I could always tell when my husband was on drugs or even if he had one drink. It's almost weird how we get this sixth sense.

It's hard for me to give you suggestions, because it's a totally different dynamic to have a spouse using than a child using. Wish there was something I could say to help. Just wanted you to know that I read your post and I care and can relate on some level :-)

I wish I could give you some advice Pat. I had a husband (now ex) who was an alcoholic and now have a son who is an alcoholic and I always know too. We do develop a sixth sense but as the other lady said it is different to have a spouse using than a child using. I divorced my husband when I couldn't take it anymore but I can't leave my son. I also would like some advice about this difficult problem and horrible disease.

I'm sorry, I wish I could help you.

Lots of love

Mary

((((Hugs)))) Pat...AS you know none of us can tell you waht to do, it has to be your choice. Knowing they have been abusing or taking pills is always something us Mom's just know. Out gut usually is right, not always but most of the time. I would say this is where your boundaries come in. What have you established for boundaries with Krista? Have you followed through with what you say? We all make mistakes so try not to be so hard on yourself. Don't allow anyone to cross your boundaries and disrespect you in your home. Think of the joy you've had in your life lately, and reach for the stars because I know you can! Hugs!!

Sorry for the typos..

(((Pat)))

Sorry you're going through this, again. It's so frightening, frustrating and discouraging.

Allison Bottle wrote an incredible account of her struggle which parallels the same type of circumstances.

It's entitled " "Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children"


www.SanitySupport com
will give you more info.

One of the steps, the T in SANITY, is to trust your intuition, your gut, so to speak. If all the signs are evident, and your gut says something is up, it probably is...

I so encourage you to read this book. I've 2 sons due to be out of prison and juvenile placement in December... I want to be armed and ready. I'm also getting a copy to give to my ex-husband, their father..(probably will have to do that anonymously, but oh well)

The chaos, the suffering and strife, the complete insanity that ensues, are all symptoms we hurt over with our children, or any loved one, for that matter.

Take care of you, Pat. Keep posting .

Sometimes its hard to keep quiet, you can feel the anger boiling inside of you and you just have to speak your mind.
Either way it is up to her to stop abusing drugs or not, just like its your choice to keep living with her chaos. I know your heart says one thing and your head another, I finally had to only thing with my head and leave my heart out of it. That was hard, but necessary to save myself.

Pat, it is hard but its something we have to do for ourselves; we have to take back our lives. Give her an amount of time to get straight or out she goes. Does she work?

I know what you mean by the anger boiling up in you and you have to say something. I feel like I physically can't hold things back sometimes. We always want hard proof, like actually seeing them take too many pills to accuse them so that they can't lie and manipulate. But I think sadly that even if we have the hard proof, they will still lie and try to trick you because there is no reasoning there when drugs are involved. If you are convinced just by looking at her, then you are right that she was abusing her medicine. I have the same problem with my mom and her anxiety pills. It is amazing how easily the doctors will prescribe pills. I have even called and written letters to my mom's doctors saying that she is overdosing on her anxiety pills and not to prescribe them anymore and they still do! My heart goes out to you and your daughter.

I'm new to this page but not ds. I have a son who just turned 21 who is an addict. We have been on this ride for 6 years now.

Has your daughter ever been to rehab?

Thanks for all your thoughts, I am going to try and get a copy of that book, but for now I did look up the website. I understand everything that Allison is saying and I know what I should be doing I just have to make myself do it. vck , no she doesn't work she just got disability, I really believe that the drugs messed with her head and she has some mental disabilities from them, pony she has been to rehab many times she was addicted to opiates but has replaced it with clonopin. She really does need help and the doctor's at the center just don't see it the way I do. My biggest problem now is my grandson, he is my first priority if she does regain joint custody it will be over my dead body that I let her live alone with him, so I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Does sound like she's depressed and yes drugs can lead to mental incapacity.
Where there is a will there is a way. You'd be surprised what a person can do IF they wanted to. There are mentally impaired people and handicapped people getting jobs and doing for themselves.
Don't let her manipulate you sweetie.
Hugs

Set firm boundries. Soemtimes this is hard as a parent, but it could end up saving your daughter's life.

Offer to help her get into an intpatient detox program, and conuseling. If she refuses , Ask her to find someone else to live.
Perhaps this kick in the pants will be her bottom.