As some of you know my sister in law has been battling a very rare sarcoma since January. I have been by her side since she was diagnosed especially since my brother in law ( whom I love) is an absolute nervous wreck and I have to talk him off the ledge at least twice a week. So I have gone on almost every doctors appt., keep notes on everything, I spend endless hours researching her options, I try to cook meals and bring them over between my travels and do whatever I possibly can because I love her to pieces and especially since I want to.
So I called today because I wanted to go over because I had some information on some options for her. I told my brother in law I would come over after I ran some errands.
Me and my husband go over and we are knocking, no answer. so we go around the back and my brother in law comes out, he looked a little weird to me. So he says we will go thought the garage, needless to say when we walked Through I smelled the undeniable scent of marijuana. I looked at my husband and went inside, I gave him the info., and I looked at him and said you have to take care of yourself, because if you don't, you cannot take care of my sister in law and my 13 and 19 year old niece. When I got it the car, I said to my husband did you smell the garage, and Of course my husband that could have someone blowing pot smoke in his face and wouldn't smell it says no. I was infuriated! Especially since my 19 year old niece was in the house, and my poor sister in law lays in bed so frail and weak. I was just so freakin irritated, because I just had a talk with him last week, About pulling it together and showing my sister in law that he can take care of my nieces. Trust me I have been very sensitive to him understanding its his wife, he loves her etc., but now I'm pissed.
So when I finally calmed down, I said my serenity prayer, and then realized, that all I have learned about addiction, boundaries, taking control of my life and not being able to control others all came rushing back. I will never give up on my sister in law, because he is an idiot right now. My husband is going to address this with him, because he knows that his sister needs my efforts on her not him. Life seems to be a continuous collections of test, I am just thankful I have the tools to realize, I can only do what I can do, and I can't control anyone but me.
Thanks for listening.