Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My husband left in July. He has spiratically slept out the house , usually without telling me. My daughter was home and he may have wanted to be with her but he should have given me a heads up. Actually, why should I expect it with his behavior over the past 6 months. Can't believe how successful he was in his flooring business and now it's all gone. He keeps blaming it on the economy. I really would like to know how much went to cocaine.
Anyway, he will be served divorce papers on Friday. Never thought I would say this. I hate divorce but I can't live his behavior problems and when he uses he gets mean and blames me for all our problems. When he left today he came into the room and patted me on the head to be friendly. I was not very friendly back. I hate feeling cold to him b/c he has worked real hard over the years to provide. But you tell me, we built our house 17 years ago for 150,000 and now we owe 352,000 on primary and 114,000 on equity. He says a lot of it went into the house but idk.
Just can't help feeling like a failure finally give up on us.
Anyway, he will be served divorce papers on Friday. Never thought I would say this. I hate divorce but I can't live his behavior problems and when he uses he gets mean and blames me for all our problems. When he left today he came into the room and patted me on the head to be friendly. I was not very friendly back. I hate feeling cold to him b/c he has worked real hard over the years to provide. But you tell me, we built our house 17 years ago for 150,000 and now we owe 352,000 on primary and 114,000 on equity. He says a lot of it went into the house but idk.
Just can't help feeling like a failure finally give up on us.
My divorce was final in 2007. I remember attending a settlement hearing where we had to split up the debt (we had no assets- only debt). All of his blaming and excuses and self righteousness was out of the blue and hit me like a ton of bricks. Please know that the divorce process is long and hard. I don't think I would have survived that plus working full time and caring for my son if I hadn't made time for weekly therapy appointments.
You are not a failure. Make a commitment to yourself NOW to take care of yourself during this process. Divorce is the equal and opposite of dating and courting. It sucks and will require your strength, dignity and grace. Brace yourself and prepare for a new chapter. You're worth it.
Thank u for your advice. I have not told my children I filed for divorce b/c I feel there is no need to tell them this b/c there is nothing they can do. My husband agrees which is good. They are old enough and once we get into it I will know the right time to tell them. They actually have always wanted us to divorce. My husband was always talking behind my back to them and they new how really unhappy he was but of course he pretended to be all sweet to me. My son is very well adjusted to being here with me and finally I am building a relationship with him now that his father is not here being passive agressive.
My husband probably won't even be phazed by the divorce papers b/c he is so depressed.
I am scared of this while process b/c I do still care for him. At least we can be together and be civil. I hope it will stay this way even if we have to sell our home or if I can manage to keep it.
Thank you so much.