Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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everythingsfine 01/20/2009

Hi, I am new to this group. Glad I found you.

I just found out that my husband is addicted to porn AND TALKING to the women who SEND HIM pictures of themselves naked AND was planning to meet one of them. I am just sick over it.

I did a search here on DS for "porn addiction" but keep getting an error, so I don't know if there's a support group for that or not, but I sure am glad to find this group.

I hope to meet some friends here.

:)

~1auren

deleted_user 01/20/2009

This is the only one I know of. If you need more support, look up your local S-Anon chapter (google will find it for you).

Please know that you didn't cause the situation. You could be the most famous and beautiful woman in the world and he'd still have done it. His awful mistreatment is not a reflection on you, your appearance, or your worth (God didn't make a mistake when he made you and you are very valuable to him). Your husband's selfishness and disrespectful behavior are reflections of his own misdirected character and lack of commitment to you.

May God bless you and keep you - I pray you find comfort and strength in this oppressive situation.

mgs1 01/21/2009

Is that the only addiction he has? I'm not trying to be nosey but Sex and Porn is one of the activities which causes the brain to emit the same hormones as cocaine, etc. Does he gamble? Eat sweets or drink?

deleted_user 01/22/2009

The nature of addiction is not limited to any specific source of dependency - and .mgs1 is correct: they're looking for that chemical boost or chemical numbness. At that point, what the person is addicted to is a matter of choice or preference.

A person may quit smoking and then pick up an alcohol addiction, then quit the alcohol addiction and develop a substance abuse problem, and so it goes....

The dysfunction comes in where he/she becomes dependent on it to a degree where it interferes with his/her ability to function and maintain stable work or family relations.

A porn/sex addict may begin to neglect the emotional and physical needs of his/her spouse, become unfaithful, become distracted and unable to work. Not counting the potential diseases the addict may acquire and pass on.

deleted_user 01/22/2009

I'm sorry, but for me, once the line has been crossed from porn addiction to actually touching someone else - especially tarts who lack the degree of respect for themselves to engage in such conduct - it's over.

We should not be subjected to acquiring injury, mistreatment, or diseases through someone else's misbehavior.

mgs1 01/22/2009

Snarkyme is right...
it's use, to abuse, to addiction.
Healthy boundaries help alot in determining what you as a healthy individual are willing to tolerate and when you should count the relationship over.

deleted_user 01/23/2009

I'm sorry Lauren. I hate that you have to go through this.

If you don't mind, I'd like to suggest two books that I have found to be very helpful: Codependent No More and Courage to Change. I also suggest that you take a look at this website, it'll provide additional resources that are very beneficial.

Please take care of yourself.

everythingsfine 01/23/2009

Hi, I just wanted to say Thank You to you all for your replies. It helps a lot to know that I am not alone. I appreciate all your responses. I'd write more but I am not feeling well right now. Thank you again.

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