Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
We got a call at midnight. Jim and some of his roommates tested positive for meth.
I just spoke to Jim 2 days ago and he told me how he was off all the meds, feeling good and really wanted to get better. He said that this year was different. Last year he didn't give a sh&t about himself, but this time he really wanted this. That's why he left and checked into rehab on his own. Ted (husband) said that this is "common" in rehabs. People sneak drugs in or buy them over a fence.
Someone brought meth into the facility and Jim used it. He is a follower, doesn't know how to say no. Dammit I am so upset. Is meth worse than heroin?? I have no clue about meth. Jimmy would snort heroin.
He is now in the "red zone" where he has no outside contact for next two days.
What do I do now? How do I react to this? I feel like someone punched me in the gut. Again.
He has been there 18 days. Last year at 18 days he walked out and ran off to halfway house. Could he be repeating same mistake??
I am watching Paul outside work on his car while I have my morning coffee, trying not to let him see me cry. He will just tell me that his brother is a huge f&ckup again and walk away. Paul hates this and is so angry with all the attention Jimmy got over the years. My sweet Paul. I love him so much.
Oh and now my youngest is up. Better go and put my game face on.
Friends.... Help.
I just spoke to Jim 2 days ago and he told me how he was off all the meds, feeling good and really wanted to get better. He said that this year was different. Last year he didn't give a sh&t about himself, but this time he really wanted this. That's why he left and checked into rehab on his own. Ted (husband) said that this is "common" in rehabs. People sneak drugs in or buy them over a fence.
Someone brought meth into the facility and Jim used it. He is a follower, doesn't know how to say no. Dammit I am so upset. Is meth worse than heroin?? I have no clue about meth. Jimmy would snort heroin.
He is now in the "red zone" where he has no outside contact for next two days.
What do I do now? How do I react to this? I feel like someone punched me in the gut. Again.
He has been there 18 days. Last year at 18 days he walked out and ran off to halfway house. Could he be repeating same mistake??
I am watching Paul outside work on his car while I have my morning coffee, trying not to let him see me cry. He will just tell me that his brother is a huge f&ckup again and walk away. Paul hates this and is so angry with all the attention Jimmy got over the years. My sweet Paul. I love him so much.
Oh and now my youngest is up. Better go and put my game face on.
Friends.... Help.
Dammit. Dammit dammit. That's all I can say.
Ted immediately wanted jimmy to come home, telling him how we will get him help here, which lead to us having a major screaming match. How can we let Jim come home again? Especially when he was so depressed. If you would have heard his voice, you could tell, he wasn't like "so what", he was "I can't believe I was so stupid, all I want to do is get better. Etc.". If Jimmy comes home, Jimmy would have failed, again, be in a worse depression and I am afraid suicidal.
I told Ted, to stop thinking Jimmy is a "special case". He isn't. He is an addict and needs help. Period. Jimmy even said it to both us and a meeting group he had to attend today.
Ted finally relented and after I broke down hysterical for the 4th time, he told Jimmy we wanted him to go to new facility. Ted knows full well he and I can no longer help Jimmy, but he is having the hardest time letting go. I don't know what's harder. Letting Jimmy get help or managing Teds emotions and his screaming at me.
Jimmy heads off to new facility tomorrow or Monday, Jimmy said "Mom, I can't come home until I am better". I told him I was proud of him and he said, "no, you're not and neither am I. I messed up big time.". But I am proud, I am proud Jimmy wants to try. He isn't fighting us or the doctors. He doesn't want to come home or run away. He wants help.
Praying to God its going to fall into place again,
And your right, you and your husband can't give him the help he needs to overcome addiction. It's very hard to let someone else help them because as parents we think we should be the ones to keep them safe and happy at all times. I hope the new facility has better security and jimmy gets the help he needs.
You and your son and family are in my prayers.
We are always here for you!
Big hugs
Jimmy said that the new facility welcomed him with open arms, and the people there were very accepting of him and it is a much smaller place. Only about 30 or 40 residents
He said that he gets his cell phone during the day as well as he can eat anytime that he wants to, versus being on a more regimented schedule however they do have a minimum of almost 8 to 9 hours of meetings and activities per day. On top of other activities that they arrange for all of the residents.
Jimmy said that all of the people he have met so far are all committed to their recovery, so he feels like maybe this is the place where he will be able to do it. I was happy to hear that and cautiously optimistic about the days to come will keep you all posted and thank you so much for keeping my family in your prayers, as I keep all of you and your families in mine. XO Miranda