My spouse drank morning til night. When he woke up, he would shake and sweat until he had a drink (not at home; he would leave for work and drink in the car). He thought we were all stupid and didn't think he was drinking.

Hiding bottles is another indication of alcoholism. My ex would put vodka in Poland Springs water bottles. He would spike his juice with vodka (my daughter at age 6 took a drink of daddy's juice when he wasn't looking and almost threw up). He had a bottle of coke in his glove compartment which was actually rum.

He would drink until he passed out. I would find him sleeping on the kitchen or bathroom floor trying to cool his drunk body down. They will not remember the next day what they did the night before.

At work his McDonald's coffee was actually vodka.

Most will choose vodka because they think it has no smell. But, it does to the sober brain!

When it gets to the point where you need a drink, you are abusing alcohol and on the road to becoming an alcoholic.

Alcoholism isn't a question of the amount of alcohol a person drinks. Alcohol addiction is a process that starts with social drinking, moves on to frequent drinking, to abuse, to dependence. A person who drinks frequently and/or abuses alcohol can still be a problem drinker even if they aren't yet physically dependent enough to suffer through withdrawals if they aren't drinking all of the time. Once a person becomes a "problem drinker", they are on the road to alcoholism even if they haven't completely reached the destination.

It's also a question of how the drinking impacts a person. If he were going out and drinking to the point of blacking out or getting drunk driving tickets or becoming physically abusive and this was happening frequently, that could be considered an alcoholic. It shows a problem with alcohol that is out of control.

I wouldn't focus so much on the label as what happens when he drinks. Obviously, his drinking is causing enough problems for you to be concerned. The question is whether he is willing to do anything about it and if you are willing to live with the consequences if he doesn't.

My guess is that his drinking is causing problems for you and he is denying that he is an alcoholic. That's beside the point. Don't fight over the definition. Discuss the problems his drinking causes for you and ask if he's willing to make changes. If not, that's a problem in itself.

Donna7445, very good points made. Yes, my husband is definitely an alcoholic in my book and yes he is the one that often challenges me about the label. But you are right in saying that the label is not what matters. What really matters is how it is affecting our marriage. The problem is I am torn between whether I stay committed to my vows or move on. He is not abusive physically but emotionally it is very trying.

my son drank himself out of jobs, into jail and almost the grave. he didn't drink everyday...just when he started he couldn't stop.
when he stopped, I did too...because I saw that it was easy to slip from one drink to sharing a bottle with my husband....and it was a habit. No, i don't fit the official description...but I knew it was a slippery slope
how much is too much?
no one needs it to stay alive.
my husband is a diabetic now, so one drink is stupid for him.
there is no answer.

rummi, only you can answer the question about staying committed to your vows. What's important is that you take control of your life and decide what you are willing to tolerate rather than trying to get him to change. You can't control his behavior, only your own.

Have you read the book Getting Your Loved One Sober? It's a different approach with some ideas that might help. I like it because it focuses on your own behavior rather than the alcoholic's. The changes in your own behavior will either lead to him also making changes or to you beginning to build a life of your own (with or without staying married),

I don't look at it as in amount or even frequency.

I don't even throw the label " alcoholic" around to those who may not like it.

So here's my general take.

If your substance (insert substance of choice) causes a negative effect in your life (job, family, education, relationships, health etc.) And you are aware of these negative effects yet you continue to use? You have a problem. Is that addiction? Maybe. Stop causing the problems (ie:stop using your substance ).

Still using your substance? Well stop! Can't stop? Need help stopping? Your probably addicted to your substance.

That's how I look at it.

thank you all for sharing your comments. I know my husband is sick, there is no doubt. I just sometimes wonder how much is too much alcohol. I research and I know what the literature says but what is real life. How much do alcoholics really drink? How much can they drink? My husband will buy a 1/2 gallon of vodka and drink it in a week or two. For me that is way too much but Im not a drinker. SO Im curious what you guys have experienced with your spouses or relatives. Thank you!

My spouse could drink a liter in one day, but then again, I was never quite sure because that's only what I know. Just like what you see your spouse drinking may not be the total amount of what he's consuming.

The question is, can he stop drinking? There is a difference between alcohol abuse and alcohol addiction. Abuse can lead to addiction.

Here's an example of my spouse's addiction: He was told 8 months before died (from alcoholism) that he needed a liver transplant but would need to get sober to be put on a transplant list. He never got sober....that's the hold the addiction has on them. He died 8 month later.

An example of alcohol abuse: My father had a stressful job and when he came home he would drink a few shots and beers. At the age of 50 it caught up to him and his liver was in bad shape. The doctor told him he needed to have surgery, but after the surgery would not be able to drink any alcohol because it would kill him (his surgery had a shunt bypass his liver). My dad did not consume one drop of alcohol after the surgery and lived for another 25 years, alcohol free.

There's the difference between alcohol abuse and addiction. If my father was addicted, he would have had a drink postop.

Lying, finding empty bottles they try to hide, sneaking alcohol into other drinks, cant go long without getting drunk, drinking while driving - my experience with an alcoholic