Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My son is started an outpatient program a few weeks ago (3x's a week) - so he's had about 6, 3 hour sessions so far. Tonight was our first family "group" therapy session. I say "group" because there was only one other boy. This boy doesn't talk so basically, the boy's mother, us (husband, son, & I) and the two counselors were the ones that did the talking. After talking about some issues we all had, our son told the "group" that this program is a waste of time. He has he gets a lot more out of AA. He really embraces AA and takes it seriously. On the other hand, he has the treatment center isn't as helpful as he thought it would have been. All he does during most of the treatment time is fill out forms. Forms and more forms. He says the same questions are asked throughout the forms over and over again. He doesn't understand how this is supposed to help him. He says after being in school all day (he's 16 and has ADD) they make him sit three hours more. He asked if they could be a little creative and make it a little more interesting or interactive. They seemed somewhat receptive but they said there are some state requirements that they have to fulfill. Does anyone know what a good program is supposed to provide? This was a court ordered program that was supposed to be paid for through funding but money is short and so now they're asking for our insurance to pay for it (not all of course). If insurance is required, perhaps we could send our son to a different program that might be better, but we need to know what to look for.
deleted_user
I work as a treatment counselor in a treatment facility. It is very normal for someone to complain about a treatment inpatien or out because they dont want to be there and treatment makes you take responsibility where as for an aa or na it is more supoort and you dont have to participate. Any treatment center from the state of the art to a gov ran will only give a person what they put in it and want to get out of it. trust me it is part of their manipulation so that they can get out of going. Reccommendation support the treatment talk to the counselor and see how he is doing. you want your ally to be the treatment center for youtwo have your son's recovery at interest
deleted_user
I think that not every treatment center is going to be right for every person. I don't think this is all because of the patient being uncooperative. AA is a very supportive group that does offer many programs and activites for recovering Alcoholics or Drug addicts. It is a program developed to encourage growth and routine into ones life. If you are willing and so is the treatment center maybe you can find a way tin incoperate AA into as that is what appeals to your son the addict. And the most important thing is your son is getting something from this. It is important to work with the treatment center to open your sons eyes to other options that may help, however help your son talk to the treatment center so he can be fullfilled while doing a program there. And Mjr is correct to say that your son may be trying to manipualte this a little. So find a way that works for all. Good luck.
deleted_user
I have just dropped my daughter off for her iop treatment. it also was court ordered. I can only say my daughter felt the same way at first but is grateful now for going through it. the group will change in size and topics as time goes on and it is very true you will both only get out of it what you put into it. He should continue with his aa meetings and remember the work overload comes from the decissions he made not from the iop program. goodluck .my daughters last session is tomorrow
mom-of-3
I do understand that most, if not all, do not like treatment but eventually many do - as they get out of it what they put into it. After all of this, our decision may be made for us after all. Although our son was recommended for a particular "wrap around" program that would include a case worker, the facility he attends is now telling us that our insurance will be tapped into. We were told that there would be no cost to us, being that it's court ordered and that our son was accepted into the program. Well, we find out that our insurance only covers half the cost of the treatment. The director called me today to suggest we try another place that does cover our insurance. Why now? And then to top it off, if we switch places, our son will no longer be in the program. If we do move, I will be interested to see how this treatment center handles the treatment. Will he spend the whole time filling out forms? If that is what treatment centers do, then that's fine.
deleted_user
My son (also 16 with ADD) completed an inpatient rehab program last month. He is in state custody due to issues with his using so my hands are somewhat tied in our options. He is now in a group home and continuing with AA/NA and after care. The facility that he went to is the same one we would have have placed him in if the state was not involved and we had to private pay (we don't have insurance). The options here are somewhat limited as there are not a lot of treatment centers in our area but I know the facility he went to is one of the best. The adolesent program is a bit different than the adults because of the state requriements for school. I understand that it has to be (addiction is a very hard thing for anyone but being 16 there is a whole different set of emotions etc going on). If your son is in a similar program (it sounds like he is as far as the court ordered treatment goes except he is outpatient) the paperwork/forms are to help them work the steps of AA/NA so they can make the life changes they need to so they can stay clean and sober. It may seem like repetion but that is how our brains work. The repetion is to reinforce the message and to help (for lack of better phrasing) "keep them honest". MJR44310 has a very valid point. If an addict isn't ready to be completely honest, their recovery can be compromised. Our family session was not what I hoped it would be and I am now estranged from my son but I hope as he continues to work on his recovery that will change. If the endless forms he fills out relate to the 12 steps and working the AA/NA program then they are worth it if he is being honest. Everyone (counselors) thought he was doing "so well working the program" until family sessions revealed he wasn't being honest. It made us the "bad people" for calling him on the carpet and a big part of why he uis refusing contact. You may want to check with the courts or contact other facilities in your area to find out more about their programs. Though most follow the same guidelines, staff and how the program is followed can be different. Best of luck to you and your family.
mom-of-3
I should know better than to pass judgement on something before giving it a chance. My son really likes this facility and has become very comfortable with the staff. It figures, now that we may have to switch him. We don't know yet, and I am not going to jump and make a quick decision until I receive more information. Long story short, after being at this center after 3 weeks, we are told that they have to tap into our insurance. Originally we were told that that wouldn't happen since my son was accepted into a special program. Well, I wouldn't have a problem with that but this place isn't covered under our insurance. And since it's out-of-network, we may be responsible for half of the cost, including co-pays. The other facility I checked into covers us 100% plus co-pays but it's much further, the hours make it impossible to get there until an hour after it starts, and my son is settled into this routine. Lots to weigh. Apparently, the center just found out that funds are tight. They said if they allow us to squeeze by then that is opening it up for others to do the same. I'm sorry but we were already into the program, why can't we be the cut off? Now, if we leave this place we will also be cut off from the special wrap around program that was court ordered for us. No more extra support. Oh well...it's not the end of the world, I guess I should be grateful for what we have had and let things play out. Thanks for all of your input.
deleted_user
Well, with the insurance thing... the counselor that my son was seeing told us that our insurance wouldn't cover "court ordered" treatments. So even though my son was going to go to the treatment center as a verbal arrangement with the county attorney, we couldn't state that to the insurance company at all. His counselor did refer him to an inpatient treatment center and he was there for 45 days. Guess what ? He hated it! Wanted to come home the entire time. Does that mean he didn't get sober? Or that he didn't get anything out of it? NO, he is now sober and got alot of tools from the program that he terms as "stupid". So I know it was good even though my son wants to say it was a waste of money. The best I ever got from a counselor was " if his mouth is moving right now then he is lying to you". Until my son made that bend in the road around the 4 & 5 step, he didn't show any progress. I was so depressed. Now I can believe only half of what he says since he is home! I just don't see how outpatient treatment can make a huge impact without being really interactive and intensive. But your son may be easier to work with than mine is. And don't forget.... everyone in the boat has to change places for it to work. Not just your son. Good luck.
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