Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I have attended 12 step groups but this is my first time writing here.
I would like to be able to talk with my son but never find the right words or cannot convey what I want to. He has had ADHD all his life and for many years smoked cannabis.
I have coped by getting on with my life and by having my fingers crossed that he doesnt mess his own up too much.
I have recently found out that he has accumulated $12000 in debts by not paying traffic fines. I dont know if he will end up in jail. At the moment it is all a waiting game.
I no longer want to live in the state that I live in. I want to sell my home, downsize and live more. Lately I have been cutting back of involvments of all kinds and sometimes feel overwhelmed by sadness.
On a brighter note I have been attending 12 step groups again. I want to be able to help him but not enable him. I just cant see my way clear.
Would love some feed back.
All the best.
My son is 24 and recovering from heroin addiction. He was recently unemployed for 14 months, while we paid his expenses. (I know it's enabling, but we were co-signers on the lease and he was meeting our conditions regarding counseling, staying sober, etc.). Just last month we insisted that he get a job at McDonalds or we were cutting him off. Now he's working there part-time. Baby steps.
If he is living on his own and supporting himself without your help, that's very good. That gives you lots of freedom to detach and focus on yourself, even if it's painful. If you are truly running "to" something by selling your house and moving out of state, that's wonderful. I am concerned, though, that you are isolating and feel overwhelmed by sadness. It might be a good idea to get screened for depression and to work with a counselor to work through what you really want to do with your life and to make sure that you aren't running away as a way of letting go.