Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My 19-year-old son went to rehab instead of college. He almost lost his life to drugs last October. He called 911 on himself during one of his outbursts. He said he was not planning on going to the hospital. But he did. Previously, he had very serious suicide attempts. He would have succeeded, if I had not been there to remove the belt from his neck when he lost consciousness.
He went to inpatient rehab last October for one month. He was then discharged to a recovery house. He was discharged on enough prescription medications to tranquilize an elephant. The facility did not set him up with a psychiatrist either. He had to wait two months for his first appointment. He was unable to function. He was bullied in the recovery house!!! The other addicts made fun of his Tourettes tics! Even the house manager was a part of it! I reported this to the owner of the house. Nothing was done.
One snowy morning he drove himself to two emergency rooms. To my surprise, he was discharged from both with the recommendation to seek outpatient treatment. He told him he was in an intensive outpatient program. They wished him well. I was beyond frustrated! The system failed him!
He moved to another recovery house. This was like jumping from the frying pan into the fire! There was no supervision, barely any heat It looked like a crack house. He settled in and went to meetings and found a sponsor. He found job that he loved but was dismissed because of pending charges. He was unable to find a job. I paid his rent and sent him food money. I used money from his college fund. His college fund was no good to me if he was dead or in jail. Weeks turned into months with no job.
My son would not move to another recovery house that had a great reputation. He said he did not want to start all over again and meet new friends. I went to see him on several occasions. He looked better than he had a long time. He had me fooled.
One week before Easter, he was asked to leave the recovery house because they found out he was smoking K2. I accepted him back into my home. We discussed rules that he needed to follow and it appeared that he was doing so. I did not want him to stay at home permanently, as all of his friends were into drugs. I told him that if he was to stay at home, I would drug test him and he would need to seek counseling. He agreed.
On Monday, I found a bag with K2 in it. After a scene, he agreed to take a drug test. He threatened to leave I did not try to stop him. My heart was breaking my mind was whirling but I knew I could not give in. He agreed to follow my rules. On Wednesday of the same week, he began his time in the ARD program. He lost his drivers license for two months. He spent more time alone in his room. On Friday, I found out that he was smoking cigarettes out the window in his bedroom. He became defensive as usual. Why did this surprise me?
Then yesterday afternoon, he spilled his guts! He informed me that he had been smoking K2 since he was home. He has spent the last three days detoxing from it. He talked to me for over three hours. I was shocked to hear his story. Why did it surprise me? In the recovery house, he used Percocets and fentanyl patches from one of the other residents. He smoked K2 heavily. He did this for three months prior to getting caught.
A very close friend of mine is a practitioner in a treatment facility in Florida. I would love to see my son go down there. I know that my friend would be a big help to my son. My son knows that staying home is not a very good option for him. He also realizes that returning to his previous treatment location is not either. He is afraid to go to Florida and he is afraid not to. He does realize that he can maintain sobriety anywhere if he really wants to However, he does realize that he needs support.
He is very intelligent when he is not using. He wants to make his own decisions. He knows that he has made some bad choices and wants me to trust that he will make a good one this time. I know now that I can only plant the seed and hope that he makes the right decision. I do not want to threaten, give him ultimatums or dictate to him. I truly want him to make the right decision on his own. I know that if he does not make the decision on his own he wont buy into it.
Sorry for rambling on Any suggestions on helping him would be greatly appreciated.
He went to inpatient rehab last October for one month. He was then discharged to a recovery house. He was discharged on enough prescription medications to tranquilize an elephant. The facility did not set him up with a psychiatrist either. He had to wait two months for his first appointment. He was unable to function. He was bullied in the recovery house!!! The other addicts made fun of his Tourettes tics! Even the house manager was a part of it! I reported this to the owner of the house. Nothing was done.
One snowy morning he drove himself to two emergency rooms. To my surprise, he was discharged from both with the recommendation to seek outpatient treatment. He told him he was in an intensive outpatient program. They wished him well. I was beyond frustrated! The system failed him!
He moved to another recovery house. This was like jumping from the frying pan into the fire! There was no supervision, barely any heat It looked like a crack house. He settled in and went to meetings and found a sponsor. He found job that he loved but was dismissed because of pending charges. He was unable to find a job. I paid his rent and sent him food money. I used money from his college fund. His college fund was no good to me if he was dead or in jail. Weeks turned into months with no job.
My son would not move to another recovery house that had a great reputation. He said he did not want to start all over again and meet new friends. I went to see him on several occasions. He looked better than he had a long time. He had me fooled.
One week before Easter, he was asked to leave the recovery house because they found out he was smoking K2. I accepted him back into my home. We discussed rules that he needed to follow and it appeared that he was doing so. I did not want him to stay at home permanently, as all of his friends were into drugs. I told him that if he was to stay at home, I would drug test him and he would need to seek counseling. He agreed.
On Monday, I found a bag with K2 in it. After a scene, he agreed to take a drug test. He threatened to leave I did not try to stop him. My heart was breaking my mind was whirling but I knew I could not give in. He agreed to follow my rules. On Wednesday of the same week, he began his time in the ARD program. He lost his drivers license for two months. He spent more time alone in his room. On Friday, I found out that he was smoking cigarettes out the window in his bedroom. He became defensive as usual. Why did this surprise me?
Then yesterday afternoon, he spilled his guts! He informed me that he had been smoking K2 since he was home. He has spent the last three days detoxing from it. He talked to me for over three hours. I was shocked to hear his story. Why did it surprise me? In the recovery house, he used Percocets and fentanyl patches from one of the other residents. He smoked K2 heavily. He did this for three months prior to getting caught.
A very close friend of mine is a practitioner in a treatment facility in Florida. I would love to see my son go down there. I know that my friend would be a big help to my son. My son knows that staying home is not a very good option for him. He also realizes that returning to his previous treatment location is not either. He is afraid to go to Florida and he is afraid not to. He does realize that he can maintain sobriety anywhere if he really wants to However, he does realize that he needs support.
He is very intelligent when he is not using. He wants to make his own decisions. He knows that he has made some bad choices and wants me to trust that he will make a good one this time. I know now that I can only plant the seed and hope that he makes the right decision. I do not want to threaten, give him ultimatums or dictate to him. I truly want him to make the right decision on his own. I know that if he does not make the decision on his own he wont buy into it.
Sorry for rambling on Any suggestions on helping him would be greatly appreciated.
If I were you, I would have your friend call your son directly and talk to him. That might ease his concerns and make him more comfortable about going to FL. I wish I had a friend in a treatment facility right now.
I think we have to try everything available out there until something finally works. I hope your son makes the right decision.