Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
*Exhale*** So, he is dropping by today. With his GF...she is a cute little thing, sadly she has an eating disorder for which she is constantly in and out of a facility. She has just gotten out and of course, he with nowhere to go, is staying with her. I don't know if this relationship is a wise one. He falls off and she stops eating again.
Don't get me wrong, she is adorable and I feel badly for her and it all stems from something that happened to her in younger years...but when will he find a person who will bring him UP instead of down? Someone he doesn't have to 'fix'? i keep trying to tell him he has to fix himself before he can fix another.
He has ALWAYS been this way, he has a big heart, he always finds the ones that need help.....not sure why....(he has been like this since he was 6!)
I wished he would just come by himself. BUT....
(some humor here)
He has been seeing his birth father after not seeing him since he was 2 or hearing from him, and his 'grandmother'....(my eyes rolling wildly they are a real piece of work)...and he stays with him a couple days a week and called me for a 'favor': "can I have my flatscreen you gave me for Christmas so I can bring it to my 'dads'?"....I had to take a deep breath, think for a second and just said 'no. you are NOt taking this tv anywhere until you have settled into a place of your own. Chris and I did not spend this money so that you can take it to leave at your 'dads'(using term LOOSELY)so he can use it...no no no"....he got quiet and said 'yeah, I didn't think before I asked, you're right'....PICK ME UP OFF THE FLOOR,, i'm RIGHT? did i hear that correctly? LOL....he told me that his 'father' is 'boring'....he has no cable, no internet...blah blah blah....(oh, too bad, see you HAD all that, all you had to do was do your school work.....)
But all in all I am doing soooo much better now. I say "no" more often now...LOL....and I have NO quilty feelings.....nothing, my give a damn remains broken! LOL...
He will get his license back at the end of this month and he is trying to get money together to do just that and get a car. I told him that I have no money nor would I help him with that as it was due to him getting arrested and he needs to deal with it himself.
aaah, breathing is sooo awesome...AND I love my life more now and my hubby likes it too....;O)....I don't have all the weight on my shoulders, I don't get frustrated and aggrivated anymore like I use to....Even my hubby and I are getting along smashingly! We don't fight anymore, we enjoy each other more.....
Don't know what the future holds, but today is good.....
Don't get me wrong, she is adorable and I feel badly for her and it all stems from something that happened to her in younger years...but when will he find a person who will bring him UP instead of down? Someone he doesn't have to 'fix'? i keep trying to tell him he has to fix himself before he can fix another.
He has ALWAYS been this way, he has a big heart, he always finds the ones that need help.....not sure why....(he has been like this since he was 6!)
I wished he would just come by himself. BUT....
(some humor here)
He has been seeing his birth father after not seeing him since he was 2 or hearing from him, and his 'grandmother'....(my eyes rolling wildly they are a real piece of work)...and he stays with him a couple days a week and called me for a 'favor': "can I have my flatscreen you gave me for Christmas so I can bring it to my 'dads'?"....I had to take a deep breath, think for a second and just said 'no. you are NOt taking this tv anywhere until you have settled into a place of your own. Chris and I did not spend this money so that you can take it to leave at your 'dads'(using term LOOSELY)so he can use it...no no no"....he got quiet and said 'yeah, I didn't think before I asked, you're right'....PICK ME UP OFF THE FLOOR,, i'm RIGHT? did i hear that correctly? LOL....he told me that his 'father' is 'boring'....he has no cable, no internet...blah blah blah....(oh, too bad, see you HAD all that, all you had to do was do your school work.....)
But all in all I am doing soooo much better now. I say "no" more often now...LOL....and I have NO quilty feelings.....nothing, my give a damn remains broken! LOL...
He will get his license back at the end of this month and he is trying to get money together to do just that and get a car. I told him that I have no money nor would I help him with that as it was due to him getting arrested and he needs to deal with it himself.
aaah, breathing is sooo awesome...AND I love my life more now and my hubby likes it too....;O)....I don't have all the weight on my shoulders, I don't get frustrated and aggrivated anymore like I use to....Even my hubby and I are getting along smashingly! We don't fight anymore, we enjoy each other more.....
Don't know what the future holds, but today is good.....
So see, it just continues on....but I will NOT DRIVE for 4 hours because HE can't seem to get his crap together....
So much for the 'good day'.....
I also was always for the underdog....I wanted to help the person. Maybe this girl will help your son by him unselfishly wanting to stay clean so this girl doesn't relapse herself. I know you worry, but my thoughts have always been with my adult children not to say anything about their boyfriend or girlfriends. They usually figure it out.
I would love for him to get tested. I still do mention it to this day. (had this conversation about two weeks ago) I will gently have it again with him when I talk to him tomorrow...