Its friday, its the weekend, time to get high. I bet his brain is in overload trying to figure out how he can get high and not make you get upset. My ex ah asked lots of time if he could get high, I knew it was like a pressure cooker, steam was building and needed to be released. At least he asked, maybe that's a step in not lying.

Very sad way to live.

You are right that it's up to him if he uses or not. It's up to you whether you are going to put up with it.

It sounds like what he's really asking is whether you are willing to look the other way when he uses, which means that you are willing to give up your boundary.

I checked back on your last two posts. A few days ago he seemed to really want to get clean, but he thought he could do this on his own. If he can't make it past 4 days, then he is not able to do this on his own. There's no shame in that. It's very hard to kick opiates without professional help. Now is the time for him to admit that he needs help.

If he can't make that call to get help and wants you to look the other way when he uses, then you have some decisions to make because it's not going to get any easier.

yep get use to the "fucking" serious questions,,,,,, he is not asking your permission,,, he is going to use regardless,,, like katrina said,, he wants you to turn your head,,,

Welcome to my world,,, not easy loving an addicit,,, your right,,, you need to set boundaries for yourself,, or your going to destroy yourself,,,,

really do you know, that he has not used in three days,,, it's a rollarcoaster ride,,,,

oh by the way,,, nice response,,, your right it is up to him,,, if I was you,, call a friend and go out,,, and have fun for yourself,,, cause really sitting home,,, will do you no good,, not going to change the situation,,,,

you might just need to walk away for awhile,,, tough love does not mean not loving,,, means you will not stand and watch the addicit destroy theirselves,,

we are here for you Mack,,,,

Aww Macks... sorry ... this road is hell for sure... but know that we are here to listen and feel with you... no worries about the language... it fits the situation... take care...

He did not end up using. I'm proud of him for this minute. He's detoxing really bad. Sweats, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach cramps, body aches.... The whole nine yards. It's a small victory. But a victory none the less.

And I got to tell him he's a dumb-ass!

girl,,, please don't get caught up in your fairy tail,,, victory has not been won,,, your battle has just begun,,,,,,, been there,, this is real life stuff,,, just stay focus,,, it's so easy to give into the addicit,, when they have that look,,,, ,,, Praying that you have the strength to love your addcit,,, don't get caught in the trap,,,

praying for ya

I look at it this way, he was using everyday, multiple times per day. Now, he's using every 3-4 days, once or twice a day, stopping and then going another 3-4 days not using. It's progress. Progress in the right direction. He is waiting on the VA to process his paperwork to get into treatment program. I've dealt with the VA before. They have a tendency to not be speedy. This isn't a fairytale by any means. It's a living nightmare. The stuff horror flicks are made of.

oh boy....your story sounds so familiar....its been a rough ride for me since i found out over a year ago....i never asked him, just could tell he was doing them....he always says....im getting better....getting in the game....my husband wants to quit so bad....but hasn't taken the steps to actually get outside help...he too told me on Monday while he was "detoxing" for a day that he needs to take one a day to take away that edge...that after the "14" that he got that he will be done....we will see...im not getting my hopes up..i told my husband that this addition is bigger then him and he needs outside help...im glad your husband is getting outside help...goodluck....hugs