Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I don't know how to explain it but I am having a really hard time dealing with my boyfriends new take on his recovery. He has been in recovery for years now but recently got a new sponsor and is going through the steps differently than he did before...he says more thoroughly. I am worried because I fee like he is becoming too dependent on his new sponsor. Perhaps this is normal I don't know. I also feel like he is void of his emotions like he is too scared to feel so he has to filter everything through his sponsor or something. I hate it. I want him to feel. I want him to be mad at me when I do something that upsets him. I want him to laugh and cry and LOVE! I want him to be able to show me he loves me. Showing any emotion other than sarcastic humor is so difficult for him but I feel that it's gotten worse since he got this new sponsor. He said it will get better but I am finding this hard. I feel like I am losing my boyfriend not getting more of him. I hate this...I wish he wasn't an addict. I wish he didn't need AA or sponsors or help feeling something. I have to accept him for who he is though and love him. He thinks I should go to Al-Anon. I went like 8 times a while back and I didn't quite like it. I didn't feel like it was for me..but I am holding a resentment towards my boyfriend, his sponsor, and AA. I know how ridiculous that sounds because I know that he loves the program and it has helped in along his recovery but sometimes I just hate that he needs it in the first place. I understand that he loves it..but I am feeling conflict between understanding and being angry that he needs it. Does that make sense? I know I just need to be patient and give this all time. He is starting a new part of his recovery and I think that's great but he is so different now and that just scares me. I don't want him to be so dependent on his sponsor..I don't think thats healthy.
I know you feel left out because AA takes up a huge amount of time but look at it this way drinking and or drugs took just as much time at least he's sober. Each sponser handles how they work differently my AH sees his only once a week and talks to him once or twice. He's had other sponsers who i thought should move in i mean they saw more of him them me.
I like to think its better this way and whatever it takes. At least he's not using and learning to live in his own skin.
I really love Smart Recovery but it isn't as well known. Maybe you can check their web site its a very good site not AA radical.
I belong to Alanon and don't believe half the stuff they say its a bit to religious for me but i have made some good friends so as they say take what you want and leave the rest.
I am just so angry.