Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
As we have witnessed both of our adult sons succumb to addiction, our hearts have been repeatedly grieved. We are helpless to our adult children's choices. Thank GOD that our older son {age 30} is now 2-years clean! Our younger son {age 27} is still in the darkest place of active addiction.
After every possible attempt at helping our younger son get the help he needs, we fully realize there is nothing left for us to do...EXCEPT...
...and this is where we've found renewed strength, restored hope:
In my private Bible-study time, I stumbled across the passage below which immediately shook me to a new understanding and a new hope:
"But you will not need to fight! Take your places; STAND QUIETLY and see the INCREDIBLE RESCUE OPERATION GOD WILL PERFORM FOR YOU, O people of Judah and Jerusalem! Do not be afraid or discouraged! Go out there tomorrow, for THE LORD IS WITH YOU!"
~ 2 Chronicles 20:17
Through His living Word, God spoke clearly: This is not MY fight...it is GOD'S and God's alone. HE will fight on my behalf. HE will RESCUE my son! I need do nothing but STAND QUIETLY...stand on His Word, stand on His promises, stand on HIS strength. He is with me. He is with my son. He is ACTIVELY WORKING TO ORCHESTRATE MY SON'S RESCUE!
Then, just yesterday, He gave me further reassurance through the Words of Jesus Himself:
"Satan has demanded you, that he might sift you like wheat. But I PRAYED FOR YOU, that your faith may not fail. And when you have repented and turned back to Me, strengthen your brothers."
~ Luke 22:31-32
Satan is fighting hard for our children, especially the ones he knows belong to the Lord. The fact that JESUS HIMSELF IS PRAYING FOR MY SON leaves me exceedingly humbled...speechless...grateful.
We have witnessed the RESCUE of our older son {2 Chronicles 20:17}. We are witnessing him strengthening his brothers {other Believers} by the testimony of his own experiences with addiction {Luke 22:31-32}. We are watching as he leads his own family to walk authentically with God, teaching them to pray and to study God's Word.
If God says it, it WILL come to pass. I must STAND QUIETLY. I must remove myself from the equation and allow HIM to have HIS way in HIS time and by HIS method. I must TRUST...no matter the outcome.
Today, trusting is easy. Tomorrow, I may dissolve into tears yet again. But my inability to remain constant and steady does not diminish GOD'S ABILITY to RESCUE and RESTORE!
Take heart, all of you who are hurting and grieving. My prayers are with each of you...and so are the prayers of Jesus Himself. This suffering will NOT be in vain.
After every possible attempt at helping our younger son get the help he needs, we fully realize there is nothing left for us to do...EXCEPT...
...and this is where we've found renewed strength, restored hope:
In my private Bible-study time, I stumbled across the passage below which immediately shook me to a new understanding and a new hope:
"But you will not need to fight! Take your places; STAND QUIETLY and see the INCREDIBLE RESCUE OPERATION GOD WILL PERFORM FOR YOU, O people of Judah and Jerusalem! Do not be afraid or discouraged! Go out there tomorrow, for THE LORD IS WITH YOU!"
~ 2 Chronicles 20:17
Through His living Word, God spoke clearly: This is not MY fight...it is GOD'S and God's alone. HE will fight on my behalf. HE will RESCUE my son! I need do nothing but STAND QUIETLY...stand on His Word, stand on His promises, stand on HIS strength. He is with me. He is with my son. He is ACTIVELY WORKING TO ORCHESTRATE MY SON'S RESCUE!
Then, just yesterday, He gave me further reassurance through the Words of Jesus Himself:
"Satan has demanded you, that he might sift you like wheat. But I PRAYED FOR YOU, that your faith may not fail. And when you have repented and turned back to Me, strengthen your brothers."
~ Luke 22:31-32
Satan is fighting hard for our children, especially the ones he knows belong to the Lord. The fact that JESUS HIMSELF IS PRAYING FOR MY SON leaves me exceedingly humbled...speechless...grateful.
We have witnessed the RESCUE of our older son {2 Chronicles 20:17}. We are witnessing him strengthening his brothers {other Believers} by the testimony of his own experiences with addiction {Luke 22:31-32}. We are watching as he leads his own family to walk authentically with God, teaching them to pray and to study God's Word.
If God says it, it WILL come to pass. I must STAND QUIETLY. I must remove myself from the equation and allow HIM to have HIS way in HIS time and by HIS method. I must TRUST...no matter the outcome.
Today, trusting is easy. Tomorrow, I may dissolve into tears yet again. But my inability to remain constant and steady does not diminish GOD'S ABILITY to RESCUE and RESTORE!
Take heart, all of you who are hurting and grieving. My prayers are with each of you...and so are the prayers of Jesus Himself. This suffering will NOT be in vain.
Turning to God as we see him is our only choice. I find myself always saying let go and let God.
We don't control how life goes. We are powerless. Keep praying. Thanks for sharing
Happy Easter! The cross gives us hope! while we were yet sinners Christ died for us!
God works miracles, I've witnessed them to many times to discount them. May God keep you close and be a beacon of Light/Truth to your boys and all our children suffering at the hands of this EVIL disease.
Thanks for sharing and for your courage.
xoxo
That cheezy saying...we didn't cause it, we can't control it and we can't cure it....has survived for a reason...it is true. for all of life. we have to put it in God's hands and go forward.
He messaged me Friday asking for food. He's hungry. Has no gas for his car. His registration was suspended. Starts a new job Monday {today}. My only response was to ask him if he's gone for his assessment at the drug rehab center, and to ask if he has transportation to his new job since his registration has been suspended {he's already been ticketed once - $150 fine - for driving on a suspended reg.}. His reply - no reply to my question about the assessment, and says he'll be driving himself to his new job in his own car. Says he needs this job...hasn't worked in a month...no money. Odd. He seems to be able to support his drug habit.
I signed off Facebook and walked away. Spent my entire Easter weekend in tears...feeling horrible for turning my back, even though I feel it was the right thing to do; feeling horrible that our son is suffering as the result of his continuing choices; feeling helpless, hopeless, despairing, fearful. Every ambulance siren I hear, I wonder if they're going to get him.
I can't sleep. All I can think about is him. And here I am AGAIN, back to turning him into my idol as he occupies all of my thoughts. I'm just absolutely exhausted from fighting...and from grieving.
I knew there would be peace...for him and me. and I would be sad forever...but no longer scared.
then I felt like a horrible mother....but I also felt like I had reached the end of what I could handle.
once I faced that (and luckily only in my mind, not in real life like so many here)...I went forward with a different mindset....I don't know how to explain it...detachment with love????
anyway - anything and everything you feel is ok. it is just the road we travel. I hope you can find peace.
I know the pain of staying up all night in tears. I had a therapy appt today. I told her I get anxiety attacks in the middle of the night. It's awful. She's trying to work with me on detaching. I'm sorry i just haven't mastered preparing for the worst. That in itself throws me in a tail spin. I cry just listening to someone tell me to do that. I don't want to.
You aren't alone in this. I'm sure we bolt awake at the same time night after night. I will never find comfort in any of this. EVER