Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
so my son was arrested a while back after living with me for the last year and doing pretty ok or so I thought. He relapsed and tried to rob a women of her purse wih another guy and they were both caught immediatley and arrested. My son only got 51 days in jail and the other kid got 4 years. They said he masterminded it and did it and my son was only there to help? whatever I felt like my son was just as guilty as the other kid and should have been treated as such. Well I have not spoken to Justin at all since he got to jail and I just wrote him his first letter. I have been spending the last month and a half on getting help for me. Finding out I was not really helping him last year I was just enabling him. I did not make him work or go to school or go to AA or get a sponsor. He did do outpatient treatment three nights a week but he kept relapsing so it was not really working either. when he was arrested he really thought he was going to go to prison this time for a long time and said he would go into treatment the minute he gets released from Jail. I have told him in my one letter that its time for him to start working his own recovery by himself for himself and that I was finally going to move out of the way and let him do what he is going to do or not and that I'm no longer doing it for him. I am going to go see him tonight to make sure he understands how I feel and what this means. I am not picking him up from jail the treatment center said if he calls them they will pick him up. I know he will beg and plead for me to bring him home, to eat and shower and sleep at home for one night and for me to get him meds and cigs and clothes and all the crap I usually do but this time I'm not going to. And its going to be hard to tell him this but in my heart I know I have to do it. I have been letting him use his mental illness and drug addiction excuse for not growing up and not moving forward with his life for too long and if I don't step away and let him find his own recovery he never will. Anyway I have two wonderful support groups that I am working with and I can do this with their support and my families support and of course all of you who are priceless to me... This is a new chapter for this mama and I am scared and excited all at the same time.
You my love are dancing in the rain,,, and have found the light in the dark hole,,,,,
You are beginning to save your son , by allowing him to eat solid foods, so he learns to chew slowly and not
You are an inspiration,,, you show that stepping a side does not mean stop loving,,, you are showing that the greatest gift is love!
Grace & Peace
He had not recieved my letter but thats ok he will get it and it will reinforce all that we discussed.
He looked great I expected that.
He sounded clear I expected that.
He asked for nothing, I didn't expect that!
he took it very well that I would not be picking him up or taking him to treatment. he said he will go directly there. He said he will make the phone call so they can go pick him up.
He had gotten all of his meds by himself (I had thrown them out in frustration one day)
He was ok.. He admitted that living at home as much as he loved his family was not working for him. He said he felt trapped (really he felt trapped??? Go get a job or take a class! how the hell do you think I feel??) anyway I'm not holding my breath, if he goes to treatment I'm behind him 100%
If he goes out and uses his problem its not mine anymore and you know what? I'm going to be ok no matter what happens!!!!
I have a TON of things to be grateful for and I'm going to spend my time focusing on the wonderful gifts God has given me....
Thank you all for the words of encouragement and support and love. You are all the blessings that I get to treasure from this awful disease that has tried to take my family down and failed at!
Drugs lose I win!
Marg
I know how much pain you have felt with your son and his addiction. Thank God it didn't destroy you and you were able to do and say what you did.
I so admire you and I am trying to get to the place you are at with my son 24 and his addiction.
I pray your so will do well in treatment and one day be well.
This group is awesome. Thank you!!
Oh so proud of you!!! You go, girl! Glad the visit went well... keep on taking care of (you).