Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
As many of you may know my daughter is a recovering heroin addict. She has been clean for 6 months now and lives in another state. She met a friend in rehab and he just so happened to be going to college in the same state as she was. They have been very helpful for each other in the beginning of the relationship. My daughter was needing some space and he wanted to be closer. He spent the last two weeks of his life with us and our family enjoying traveling the state we live in with our family and visiting. When they returned to their homes she talked to him about having some space. He took this very hard, I know she has talk to him about needing time and space and he always convinced her to stay and he was talking to his counselor and life coach about it. He was also on the vivatrol shot. So she thought he would be ok. He was not answering his phone when she tried to call to check on him and his neighbors had not seen him so they checked on him and he had passed away. They all blame my daughter for his OD. His family is also in another state and she has not heard from them for a while so now she feels they may blame her as well. She came home for a week because she did not want to be alone and afraid of what she may do. She is back at her apartment, looking for work since school out but she seems so sad and so thin. She is on suboxine and is seeing a doctor and drug tested every 3 sweeks but he has moved it to every 4 weeks which worries me. I still can not believe he is gone, he was just with us. He was so full of life and was so proud of being sober and enjoying life for the first time he said, he was a go getter and had the kindest spirit ever. It breaks my heart that he felt he needed to do this. my husband and I wish we would have called him and checked on him but Ive been told he was not answering his phone, We loved him like a son and told him so and I know his parents and sister are heart broken. I see his smile and hear his laugh every once in a while. Addiction is so HORRIBLE, It just makes me sad to think his friends blame my daughter and are so mean. I pray for strength for her and I pray for R family. I wish this would all go away. RIP R...
You know, I posted a while ago that my son's roommate from his sober living house did the same thing. My son was busier, and called less often, and he started using and died. My son felt guilty too...but we talked it through, and ultimately they all know that they can't control someone elses choices.
It is such a waste. Addiction sucks.
Losing someone sucks.
I hope your daughter is in a support group.
My son went to the funeral, saw everyone...he told me, that of the 25 men he lived with in the sober living and halfway houses he is the only one still sober and alive. 8 are dead.
It is the pain of the life they lived.
Tell your daughter not to blame herself. It was his choice. it is sad and makes us mad...but she has to go on. Feeling feelings is so hard for those who worked at staying wasted so they wouldn't feel them. This could be a big step forward in her recovery if she can handle it with sobriety. Meetings, councelors, prayer, family...whatever it takes for her. I will light a candle. Peace
I can't imagine my son would have done well without his sponsor and group the first couple of years. Now? He goes less often, but he knows it is there and tries to go "before he needs it" (what he said, not me)
It is a big responsibility to be your daughter's support...and mom. The two don't always match.
Glad that you and your husband can do it together...Sometimes my hubby and I took turns on who would deal with the problem of the day...who had the energy left. Be good to yourself.