Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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destiny48 07/12/2015

One of the biggest red flags to me as to recognizing an addict (aside from their possibly hidden drug abuse) is their extreme selfish thinking. It is all about what is best for them with no normal consideration for others at all or their effect on others. When I think about the actions of the addicts in my family I am just blown away.
Even more outrageous is how they try to twist their harmful actions around and blame someone else for THEIR ACTIONS!
I think the best way to keep them at a safe distance is to not be an extremely unselfish person.....I do believe they seek the too kind of a person out and have 0 concern for the harm they do to that person.
Your thoughts/experiences?

Mellody 07/12/2015

I agree, it is easy to be taken advantage of by an addict they can make you feel bad and make you feel guilty as if you are responsible for them or to blame for their life. It is a hard thing when the addict has kids or even in some cases if they don't because they are human and it is easy to feel compassion for another human in distress.

lots of addicts seem as if they really believe their lies when they blame others, but deep down they may know the truth which is why they find it hard to quit and come back into reality. It sounds a but harsh but it is true if you are to giving and nice you may become their enabler or just really depressed dealing with everything. You really have to be careful and pull back a little at times.

Best of luck with everything.

blueviolet725 07/12/2015

I think your description is the perfect definition of the insanity of addiction. BUT I would say that I do feel badly for the over nice people, because it hasn't been their misfortune to suffer the morally dead exposure to an addict before. And as we all remember, that first heartbreak is a zinger! I don't cry over it, but i wish all the innocents could be spared.

I went thru a man in my church to get windows done (many, many years ago) and he was in a bible study...and he ripped me off terribly. (nothing to do with addiction, just my first exposure to bad people being really really good at it)

anyway, dealing with addicts is like being in a spin cycle in a kaleidoscope.

destiny48 07/12/2015

I also think they know deep inside their wrong ways so if they get sober they have to make amends and deal with all the harm they have done
and if they continue the way they are they are ignore all that ...
??

kittencaller 07/13/2015

Wow, I completely agree. You hit the nail on the head! It completely changes their personality and they think the world owes them a living.

cottontail 07/15/2015

I agree, my son totally manipulates me time and time again. there are times when I just cant wait to get away from him. I also agree that they pick certain people, my son is totally different with his Father as his Father gives him nothing. Even though I am always a support for him it is me who gets the brunt of his tantrums and extreme behaviour.

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