So last night I was picking Justin up from the hospital and was planning on bringing him home for a family type intervention. He has been staying with us for 10 months staying off the heroin but having relapses with less and less time between them. Our plan was to tell him he needed more treatment than just the 3 day a week Intensive Outpatient treatment he had been recieving. He does not go to any NA meetings and he does not have a sponsor, he basically holes up in our home and does not leave the house for anything other than his classes or with the family. He really is not working his recovery, But anyway I picked him up from the hospital expecting him to be detoxed and full of remorse. Not what I got. He was as high as a kite, said he felt fantastic, doctor was great had really listened and given him a bunch of wonderful meds, in fact he wanted me to drive right to the pharmacy and get them filled. I said no way! I told him he was staying on the meds the doctor he has been seeing for ten months had prescribed not the crap a doctor who spent 4 days with him suggested... He also met a girl and had fallen in love and had met a new friend who would be getting out on Friday and they would be hanging out together... He was a mess, and discussing treatment was not even a possibility... Also while all of this is going on my other child is packing for college and we are trying to be happy and excited for her while Justin trys to rob all the attention with his nonsence...
I had hoped this morning after sleeping it off he would be more himself but he woke up still high. I take my girl to college tomorrow and I will have to put Justin on the backburner until I get Jordan safely off to school. In the meantime I want to Scream every bad thought I can possibley think of at Justin! I'm so mad at him. Everytime we have anything big going on he falls apart.... His sisters wedding, his other sisters graduation, right before our vacation. Anyway after we get Jordan off to her school we are doing the intervention. I know that while he is high he is going to refuse but we will still put it out there and let him decide. His decision, his choice, his life. He really had been doing better this year and I do know we made progress but when he falls apart like this it makes me wonder what progress? Its all gone back to hell. He will be leaving and I will be left wondering if today will be the day that he does not make it....