Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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angryspouse 02/25/2019

I have been married for 23 years and have three children and a husband that is in denial. My husband works most of the time out of town and is home on the weekends and spends his time fixing small engines in our basement and drinking alcohol for about seven hours. He thinks he is not an alcoholic because he doesn’t drink every day just five or six days a week, he is in severe denial! My husband only comes upstairs to do number two and if he decides to eat dinner,otherwise he urinates in a bucket which is in itself ridiculous!!! He spends no time with me and the kids and uses the excuse that he has to make money fixing things. He uses this as a crutch to drink and think she is hiding it from the kids even though they are old enough to know when he is drunk. I am tired of feeling alone and being married to someone that will never get help for his drinking!

hkitty71 03/10/2019

I am sorry to hear that. As the child of an alcoholic your kids know. To think they don't is a big mistake. Since your spouse is not going to change maybe you should. Join a support group for families of alcoholics and addicts, see a therapist. You and your kids need support and you deserve it.

katrinka 03/14/2019

Three years of therapy taught me I am responsible for my happiness. I was married to an alcoholic for 19 years and a drug addict for 12 years, There are ways to try and get your husband to engage with his family, for example make arrangements to go to a movie, go on a date, visit friends, etc, all dates you make have to be at places where there isn’t any drinking. So if you choose a restaurant make sure there is no alcohol served. On the day of the date remind him, and when it time to go if he says he’s not going, changed his mind, go without him. Let him see that with or without him your gonna enjoy your life. Go and try to have fun, everytime you do this he will see you are no longer willing to sit around and wait on him to stop drinking.
Saying all of this I chose to divorce my first husband he was an abusive alcoholic, as for my second husband I tried everything, but finally after so many rehabs, and separations I divorced him, that was 10 years ago. It took me at least 5 years to feel happy again, but now I am so glad to no longer live with an addict. Honestly they zap your life, and I have a much more satisfing peaceful life now.

angryspouse 03/14/2019

You are so right! I am at the point where I am exhausted and I have to focus on me. I just went to my first al anon meeting and I am looking forward to the next one.

katrinka 03/15/2019

Stay strong and take it one day at a time. Glad you’ve join a group where you can have face to face interactions.

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