Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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topazmoon1968 08/05/2010

I am finding it really hard these days to stay strong anymore. My hope and strength have been diminishing by the day and I am not sure how to dig myself out of this hole.

I have been talking to friends, family and trying to set up an appointment with a counselor. I am trying to stay strong for my son, while my husband goes through yet another relapse and set back.

I want to be the strong one in this relationship, I want to stand up to him and I want to be the one he listens to, but I know that won't happen.

I would also like him to leave, but again, I know he won't. I am too embarrassed to get my family involved and too scared to leave on my own with my son.

The list could go on and on, but I will just say that as much as I try, I am not the type of person that will ever be strong, I never was and never will be, and I know that is a shitty attitude but it is just how I feel today.

How do you get through a rut?

katrinka 08/05/2010

Counseling has been a big help for me. I did decide to have AH move out almost a year ago, I couldn't take the stress and anxiety worrying about him, our finances. Today I am happy, do support myself and daughter. Yes I do at time miss my STEX but realize the peace I have now is much more important.
I am starting college in a week plus running my own small business.
I had spent 17 yrs married to a man I was scared to leave, I couldn't stand him that was 15 yrs ago. I should of gone to counseling back then instead of marrying another addict.
To get out of rut and get endorphins going, get some exercise, read a funny book get out of the house. In time doing one or two of these things along with counseling you will get stronger.

deleted_user 08/06/2010

Topaz Please don't cut yourself shor. Don't say you can't, say you can ! If we always listen to that little voice inside our heads we manage to say I can't do it ! Know that you are trying to save his life. I know about living with an addict and it wears you down to nothing. You become weak. Tell yourself thaat you can do it and make good things happen ! Best of Luck ! We are always here for you !!!

topazmoon1968 08/07/2010

Thanks for your responses guys. I am still having a hard time. I called a therapist that hopefully I can get in to see next week. I don't want my AH to run my moods, but it cannot be helped. He came home last night a total wreck. A mix of pills and booze and he was an emotional disaster. I just had to go to bed and try to ignore it. So totally frustrating!!!

deleted_user 08/07/2010

I too have been feeling this way in my current situation. I know one thing that has helped me tremendously is counseling and nar-anon meetings. I suggest you find one in your area and start attending. These are meetings that teach YOU how to cope with these specific situations. Good luck and God bless. Kepp your head held high because you are VERY strong!

topazmoon1968 08/07/2010

Thanks Genevieve - I am hoping to start counseling next week and go to al-anon meetings when I can. I will also look into nal-anon as well. I am working on staying strong, but it is certainly very difficult. I appreciate everyone's support and words of wisdom

Thanks

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