Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My husband is 15 weeks clean and still is a very much a difficult road.
I turned 45 in July and he wanted to make it special because he half-assed most of my birthdays. We went out to dinner and got me some costume jewelry.
Coming home late from a meeting, he wakes up and states "I need your advice, your girlfriend, Liz is stealing my thunder" I have no idea what this was in reference to and he said they are planning a surprise function for me to celebrate my birthday but he wants to do one thing and she wants to do another. I asked him if this was a surprise and he said no, well, maybe yes. So, I told him that I didn't want to get in the middle of it and that I am annoyed because now he ruined a surprise birthday party for me. He then went down the road of a pity party and that I never support him, blah, blah.
Yesterday, he calls me from work and tells me that Liz sent him a nasty text that all she needs him to do is watch the kids since he didn't come through with anything else. She told him that I might not expect him to do things but she does and since he didn't do anything he said, she doesn't need his help and this "event" will be from her and my girlfriends.
I told him that I was sorry that she text that to him. I told him that I know the event will be from him and her. He is very upset and tells me not to worry about it, that I will have a good time because I am able to separate things like that.
I am not sure what else to say or do. Couldn't I just have a party with no drama?
I turned 45 in July and he wanted to make it special because he half-assed most of my birthdays. We went out to dinner and got me some costume jewelry.
Coming home late from a meeting, he wakes up and states "I need your advice, your girlfriend, Liz is stealing my thunder" I have no idea what this was in reference to and he said they are planning a surprise function for me to celebrate my birthday but he wants to do one thing and she wants to do another. I asked him if this was a surprise and he said no, well, maybe yes. So, I told him that I didn't want to get in the middle of it and that I am annoyed because now he ruined a surprise birthday party for me. He then went down the road of a pity party and that I never support him, blah, blah.
Yesterday, he calls me from work and tells me that Liz sent him a nasty text that all she needs him to do is watch the kids since he didn't come through with anything else. She told him that I might not expect him to do things but she does and since he didn't do anything he said, she doesn't need his help and this "event" will be from her and my girlfriends.
I told him that I was sorry that she text that to him. I told him that I know the event will be from him and her. He is very upset and tells me not to worry about it, that I will have a good time because I am able to separate things like that.
I am not sure what else to say or do. Couldn't I just have a party with no drama?
I am soooo sorry everyone is fighting over your birthday.
the good news is that there are so many people who love you.
Perhaps hubby could put on his thinking cap and do something nice for you on his own...or make a cake and decorate it and make cards with the kids while you are out at your other party, and you can have one at breakfast time with him and the kids!
You can never have too many parties!
Have a GREAT time. and just ask your friend not to bad mouth your husband in front of you (ie at the party)...
because that would be a downer.
Good thing you are so strong....He needs to stop tattling to you...old habits of manipulation die hard.
Happy Happy Birthday! Hope it is all worth all this hassle!