Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I have been seperated almost 2 years from my husband. My BF is a recovering addict. I have 3 kids w/ the husband. He hates the new bf. I try to keep my relationships/ personal life private. My issue at the moment is when the bf lived with me a yr ago he pawned mine and my kids things to support his habit. He has been in treatment and has been clean x 1 yr. No suboxen or methadone. He is doing everything he should be to start his life over fresh and new. I am very proud of him considering everything he has had to go through am slowly building my trust back. I will not allow him around my kids until I am certain that he will be different. He got an apartment, full time job and is doing great. I wanted to work on us and rebuilding our relationship at a slow pace .Slowly introduce him back into my kids lives. Then bam! I find out I'm pregnant with the BF baby. I am so torn. Do I want a child right now? Not really , I am not prepared financially for another baby. I am going to be 40. However I have lost 3 kids so I have trouble considering abortion. When the soon to b x husband finds out it is going to be a war. I am worried what my girls will think or feel about the situation. they are 10,7,5. I can't get divorced until after the baby is born. Any advised will help.
First - I"m like have an abortion...but then I'm like..not fair to the baby.
Then - I'm like well this is going to be hard on the children and who knows if this is even going to work out with your b/f. I'm an alcoholic in recovery now and my son is addicted to drugs. Our types are very unpredictable. I went 8 years without drinking and then went out of control.
Plus, it takes a long time to figure out if you belong with someone and then we really don't figure it out until we live together.
I feel like this baby is being brought into an unstable environment. Have you thought about ADOBPTION? I think I would feel better about myself with adoption. But how would the b/f feel about that? I don't know if your relationship would last very long after that either.
Have you talked to your boyfriend and the pregnancy choices? Abortion/Adoption? That is important I think to do...I think I would have to admit that I could not emotionally or financially handle 4 kids.
This "war" with the X? I don't understand that...what you do with your life is none of his business once he is an X unless it is harming his girls. Wait? Is this your b/f baby or your husbands? Why would you have to wait until after the baby is born to get a divorce?
I know it would be hard to give up a baby...but not if it is the best thing for the baby (rather than the other A word :(). A lot of people want "babies" and the baby would be adopted by a good "screened" family. I think that is the less selfish thing I would chose. I don't think it would be EASY. I think it would be easier to have an abortion...but again...that is just not fair.
Even with Adoption there are some options where families can have contact I think. I'm not to sure. Your thoughts now?