I stopped. "to support my son"...and I stopped for 6 months, and then drank a big glass of wine, and had the worse hangover in my life....and came to realize that my using alcohol to relax or deal with stuff was a slippery slope that could lead to my being an old drunk sitting in a corner somewhere.

I realized that he might be showing me where I could end up..since the kids had moved out, we would relax having a glass (or a bottle) of wine out on our screened in porch, and my husband liked me a little tipsy! I wouldn't even remember how I got to bed. Nope, no more drunk texts or emails, no more not remembering....and I wasn't in public...and he didn't see it as a problem...i just saw all these warning signs...

so I quit. 7 years ago this april (including the 6 month thing)...and I choose to never drink again.
Meanwhile, now hubby has diabetes and can have a beer every blue moon...but no one needs alcohol to live...it isn't like water...or air...
Funny, how this addiction changes us and our perceptions of what is ok...I got Very uncomfortable with people drinking too much around me. PTSD?

Only you can decide.
IF you think it is hard, stop for a month...or 6....you can always start again. I gained real insight. Peace.

1. is it worse or worst?
2. I still feel the urge to drink on occasion..and I have noticed it is usually when I feel things to a big extent...to celebrate, or anxiety, or when I feel overwhelmed with caretaking for my mom or husband, or when i am angry. and besides feeling that crap?

I also had to learn what to do instead, and sometimes it is eat, or walk, or pray or yoga breathing...or just be a bitXh to those I love.
but I just don't drink.

I did not stop because of asking him to control himself. He has the problem, not me. However, I rarely drank because ultimately, I had to be the responsible one, to make sure we got home safely, take care of the kids, make sure he got up for work, etc. And honestly, after experiencing everything I have with him, I really don't even have the desire anymore. I mean, sure, it would be fun in certain circumstances, and I do drink on occasion, when we're both at home, and we don't have to worry about traveling and such, plus, our kids are older now, so that is not an issue anymore. I say, do what feels right for you and the current circumstance!

I think in the early days I would stop, if you want a glass of wine go out with your friends but not around him. It's too tempting for him. Once he's been sober for a long while it likely won't bother him.

When my son was first caught smoking pot in 9th grade i didn't smoke for 4 years. I was nevera big pot smoker, maybe 3x a year so it was no big deal. He rarely drank but when he did it was to excess. For the most part I didn't keep much if any supply in my house for his safety. I've had family parties with no alcohol in support of him (he's got drug addiction).

Since he no longer lives here there is alcohol but not much. If it were my husband I would probably keep the house clean of alcohol and only drink if with my friends. Especially the first year or 2. When I'm trying to lose weight I don't begrudge my family cheesecake and potato chips but I also doubt want them socked in my house or eaten infront of me.

Maybe that's selfish but until I gain good control over my eating I need a safe zone. The difference for me is eventually I get to a moderation point. Where I can Eat a snack sized bagof chips or small slice of cheesecake. For an alcoholic that's not the case.


If he's early on in his recovery I would recommend atleast short term abstinence from drinking around him.