you are right, addiction is a very selfish disease. My only other comment is that you sound angry. I am guessing hurt and frustration is the real reason. Yes. If loving them were enough, none of us would be here.
I am happy you are not enabling and you have set your boundaries. I pray and hope that she will find her way to sobriety one day soon.

I agree with you, If only my son would have let me help him, he would no longer be an addict nor would he have ever turned into an addict. I would have and still would do whatever I can to make him STOP!!! He didn't want the help, he chose the drugs and caused complete havoc in our household. I do not think he knows the havoc he has caused to his family, to our finances, to our marriage, to our health, etc,,, I am thankful he asked for help and we sent him out of state to a treatment center, I hope he is doing this for him but my instinct tells me that it's just more BS he is telling me which I fall for most of the time because I want to believe in him but he has lied so much, I don't think I believe anything he says, even if it's true. My heart goes out to you, I pray your daughter will soon be ready to get the help she needs. They just don't understand that
life can be great for them if they become sober!

My daughter is 31. She is so not ready for help. My friend told me to think of walking over my daughter on the road to my own recovery instead of thinking of walking away from her. I never thought I would be on this journery. But I'm trying to choose to be strong everyday, sometimes minute by minute. When and if my addict decides to seek help I will be there supporting her. But in the mean time life goes on,far too quickly. And I want to enjoy my life even on this journey from hell.

You sound like you are coming to a healthy place. You deserve to be happy.

Clueless makes a valid point . . . in the end, it is the responsibility of the addict to get help. No one can force it upon them.

For those of us who love the addict, we suffer greatly. The toughest part is attempting to live a life of complete surrender and trust in God and believe that He is working in the addict's life. I personally struggle greatly with this. At times, I become consumed by the ugliness. I forget that GOD IS AT WORK, every moment of every day. When I lose sight of this, I begin to doubt Him or even question Him. I may not see what He's doing, but He IS doing!

My job is to turn the addict over to God, entrust him to God's care, and rest in the promise that I am His daughter and He wants nothing but the best for me AND for the addict. If the addict chooses to continue down the path of addiction and all the darkness that comes with it, there isn't much we can do to intervene. It requires a miracle and only God Himself is capable of performing miracles.

Somehow, someway, if our addict chooses darkness over Light, we must find a way to continue living & keep moving forward. If we don't, the darkness will conquer us as well.

It is imperative that we have support, be it an organized support group of some kind, a close family member or friend, a counselor, or a pastor. Sometimes, just an afternoon spent with a close Christian friend over coffee can make a huge difference, and it can get us over a hump. Once in a while, a funny movie or upbeat music can help. Sometimes, a good cry doesn't hurt either.

*hugs & prayers*

I agree we have to remember that God is at work with us and our addicts. Sometimes we get weak and all it takes for the darkness to creep in is a minute of doubt and fear. I have trouble with the "movies" that play over and over in my head. My therapist gave me a paper that says STOP and then a bible verse to say.
Sometimes I ask myself how in the world did this happen. But God is at work in all of us:-)

Thank you for this post.
I understand completely all that was said...
I do wonder also if I can ever trust the addicts in my family but I will just deal with that when & if tremendous God given change happens.
Great to have those you understand so much through such a difficult disease.
With so many people out there that are addicts and so many family members in denial ...our outstanding here is essential.