So last week my son who is 6 months clean and sober was so very down that he was almost suicidal. I am relieved to tell you all that he is much better but I also need to tell you what all happened.
Justin is suffering from mental illness and he has been prescribed a small boatload of medication.. Meanwhile me as his mom have been going through all of this addiction, mental illness stuff for 12 years now. I have read everything I can get my hands on and have been in so many treatment centers, classes, therapy sessions, you name it I'm doing it. So therefore I feel like I have a pretty good handle on all of this. Well Justin had been sleeping for up to 5 hours during the day and overall lathargic , lazy whatever. SO he and I decided since he was feeling so much better (this was before his episode) he could do without one of his meds. He is on Thorazine, Celexa, clonipin, Propaneal and one other for side effects. Well I threw out the Propanenol. So a few days later he gets completely depressed and suicidal and I just thought it was from being in recovery and it wasn't until 3 days later it dawned on me I should have weened him off this drug or better yet discussed it with his physiatrist/doctor. He had also run out of his antidepressant which he forgot to tell me. OMG I am such an idiot!! Another wake up call for me! I keep thinking oh I have this I get this I can handle this but this is so much bigger and harder and I need to pay more attention to everything I do. I am back to holding all of his meds again and being (I hope) better about dispensing them and not thinking for one second I know what the heck I'm doing... I scare the heck out of myself at times.... This is such a huge responsibility and I really need to be more vigiliant..