Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Hi all. Been quite an active few months since I last posted. Jimmy took a drug test at home yesterday and was positive for opiates. He has officially relapsed and at, least, this time, he is on his own. No help from us and he has to deal with repercussions of his life choices.
We previously stopped all enablement, girlfiend is gone, has own bills, crashed his car and has learned to take public transportation, etc. He has a job,who knows how long it will last. Jimmy has to deal, he is 22.
It still hurts (the anxiety comes over me in a wave of physical pain) and I have been in therapy/on medication to help me for a few months now, but it's no longer the mind crushing, end of my world pain it was last summer.
It hurts tho, he was doing well. He was just making a turn around. He actually chose to leave the bad influence girlfriend, start saving, going to gym and somewhere he had a setback emotionally and chose to take drugs again. That easy, that quickly.
I came home from business trip to news that he was back. I took an extra anxiety pill and went on with my day. But it hurts. Always will. No matter how much I have learned in therapy and NAR-ANON.
I hope all of you who helped me last summer are ok and my prayers for you and your families and for any of you who don't know me, Jimmy gave us some pretty active posts last July. I send you prayers also.
We previously stopped all enablement, girlfiend is gone, has own bills, crashed his car and has learned to take public transportation, etc. He has a job,who knows how long it will last. Jimmy has to deal, he is 22.
It still hurts (the anxiety comes over me in a wave of physical pain) and I have been in therapy/on medication to help me for a few months now, but it's no longer the mind crushing, end of my world pain it was last summer.
It hurts tho, he was doing well. He was just making a turn around. He actually chose to leave the bad influence girlfriend, start saving, going to gym and somewhere he had a setback emotionally and chose to take drugs again. That easy, that quickly.
I came home from business trip to news that he was back. I took an extra anxiety pill and went on with my day. But it hurts. Always will. No matter how much I have learned in therapy and NAR-ANON.
I hope all of you who helped me last summer are ok and my prayers for you and your families and for any of you who don't know me, Jimmy gave us some pretty active posts last July. I send you prayers also.
Just want to say I understand exactly how you feel. My son just relapsed after 10 months clean, and very much as you described, it hurts, but I refuse to let it destroy me like it has in the past. I gave it to God this time, and am hoping for the best.
My son just turned 22, he is a man now. I had a very hard time letting go, but I cannot live his life for him. I made up my mind that he is on his own (he's in FL, I am in NJ). He was thrown out of his sober house and lost his job, but says he wants to get back on track. I'm glad, if it's true, but I will not send him any money this time. He needs to figure it out for himself.
I think you are right to let your son deal with the consequences of his actions. We can't save them...we can't fix them. I finally get it...it's really up to them. This was hard for me but I have to accept it.
So live your life, enjoy what makes you happy, you have your own life to live. I am going to do the same.
I was away from Daily Strength for several months too. My son has been clean for 14 months, but I struggle with anxiety and have started coming back here because I can't talk to anyone else about my fears. I realize how common relapse is and how easily it can happen. I have to remember that even if our addicted children relapse, they can get clean again. I have to remember to feel hope instead of fear.
Blessings to you and Jimmy.
I'm sorry he's relapsed but hopefully he's got some tools in his "recovery toolbelt" to better deal with this.
You and your son are in my prayers.