Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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/ Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Can you ever trust the addict again?

macksbaby
macksbaby
I'm really having a hard time with this. I love him. I would love to have him home. I want my Mack home. But I'm not sure if I could ever trust him again. With everything that we have been through. All the lies that he told. I'm not sure who he is anymore. Is it possible to get past it? Is it possible to trust your addict again?
deleted_user
deleted_user
My hubby is sober almost 2 months and I still have a hard time trusting him. Its hard. I still give him drug tests when hes acting weird or his eyes look funny. I can't help it but I know one day it will get easier, I have faith anyway. The downer is knowing I can really never let my guard down though cuz at any moment he could relapse. It scares me. I have real love for him again and I don't want to go through the active addiction with him anymore. I think we truly know what a breaking heart feels like, hu? All I know is it will get easier, I can breath when my hubby goes to the store or has money in his wallet. I don't trust it 100% but I don't have anxiety. Make sense? I hope so. Hang in there, this is just an in due time situation. I am with you though.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I trust my husband, he has well over two years clean. He has done a lot of work on his recovery and he has EARNED my trust. When the addict is in true recovery and time has healed, the trust will come back.
cardinal39
cardinal39
detach from the addict,,, and there is a good possibility you can trush the man you love,,,,, can you trush the addicit,,, probably never,,,,with the addicit, you are going to be "looking" for relaspe, looking for lies,,, that's why it's so important to get into recovery for your self,,,,, It's going to take time,,,, but don't become totaly obsessed with your addicit's recovery,,, unfortunatly trust is something that is earned,,, you learn how to trust someone,,,,
fridge
fridge
No. Don't put yourself back through it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I took my ex husband back after 14 months of being apart .
I won't re-marry him until I feel like I can trust him.
If he relapses then In my opinion, he's made his choice. I have given him a huge undeserved second chance.
Good advice about not focusing on the addict but the person. I find myself doing just that... I need to concentrate on me and get the help I need.
katrinka
katrinka
It takes a long time to build trust back up after is is taken away. He needs to be clean for considerable time, and needs to show he wants you back and he is serious about your relationship. Many let their bf or spouses back only to be back in the same predicament they were in last time they lived together. Nothing changes unless the addict makes changes and you make changes.