Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
'I TOLD YOU SO'....recap...son, heroin addict for 6+ years, in recovery now for 9 months....gf who is also a heroin addict, on methadone for 8 months, just gave birth in October to my grandson, who THANKFULLY had NO withdrawl, no complications and is doing well and she is still on the methadone treatments....
THAT all being said....our son worked HARD at his recovery. He overdosed in January, was gone for 30+ minutes and they were able to bring him back with Narcan and paddles.....he went to rehab....since then has paid ALL his debts, got a great job, works all the overtime he can, got HER on health insurance and into a program, got an apartment, got a car and they had a baby. She has to stay at her parents house, with the baby, for another month due to DCS being involved due to the methadone clinic. So they are all living together at her parents house. They are trying to help, not easy. SHE has been having issues in the past week. She is not showing interest in the baby, took 4 hours in the bathroom getting ready to go to Walmart! ????really????never once checked on the baby. My son is up most the night watching the baby and her, then going to work in the a.m.....
He called me crying from the walmart parking lot, he left without her, she was getting in his face, yelling, screaming etc.....
I calmed him down and we talked it through. To ME she is showing signs of post partum depression, that and being 'weaned' off the methadone can't be easy on the hormones for sure.....
So an hour ago I get a call, they are in the hospital, she was throwing violently, pooping blood...so they take an ambulance to the hospital, at the HOSPITAL they gave her NARCAN....the EMT's fought them on it, but they did it anyhow. SMH....
My son mentioned he wants to quit his awesome government job to take care of his son....AYFKM?
Now this may sound AWFUL coming from a grandmother, but I told them from the BEGINNING that having a baby at THIS time in their lives was a big mistake. Have the baby, but give it up for adoption to a family who is WANTING a child and can give him a stable happy home....they were SO in that 'pregnant' fantasy world, she thinking it would be the CURE ALL, this child.....
My son is beside himself. He loves this child.
He is doing so well....he worked VERY hard at his recovery, still attends his weekly meetings....has this apartment they can't move into yet because of having to live with her parents, so he is paying for a place he is not living in....smh.....
My frustration is starting to boil over...hubby asked me WHY did you mention post partum to him? Um,, because I'm a MOTHER,, because it is serious, because it HAS to be tended to? SMH....
I take care of everyone...hubby, kid, dog, at work picking up after customers ALL day long.....I wish just ONCE someone would take care of me....
I was on the uphill part of the rollercoaster during the summer, now....heading downhill.....
Not to mention I've got some health issues of my own I've been putting off getting checked....will be doing that today making appointments....
I wished he just had himself to worry about....it would be more fun....for him and us....as usual some girl is just in the way...his last gf overdosed and died.....she had gotten pregnant (not my sons' some other guy), had the baby....tried to beat the addiction, but couldn't....smh....my fear? It will be the same thing here....
Well, time to call my doctor....
Keep us all in your prayers, please?
THAT all being said....our son worked HARD at his recovery. He overdosed in January, was gone for 30+ minutes and they were able to bring him back with Narcan and paddles.....he went to rehab....since then has paid ALL his debts, got a great job, works all the overtime he can, got HER on health insurance and into a program, got an apartment, got a car and they had a baby. She has to stay at her parents house, with the baby, for another month due to DCS being involved due to the methadone clinic. So they are all living together at her parents house. They are trying to help, not easy. SHE has been having issues in the past week. She is not showing interest in the baby, took 4 hours in the bathroom getting ready to go to Walmart! ????really????never once checked on the baby. My son is up most the night watching the baby and her, then going to work in the a.m.....
He called me crying from the walmart parking lot, he left without her, she was getting in his face, yelling, screaming etc.....
I calmed him down and we talked it through. To ME she is showing signs of post partum depression, that and being 'weaned' off the methadone can't be easy on the hormones for sure.....
So an hour ago I get a call, they are in the hospital, she was throwing violently, pooping blood...so they take an ambulance to the hospital, at the HOSPITAL they gave her NARCAN....the EMT's fought them on it, but they did it anyhow. SMH....
My son mentioned he wants to quit his awesome government job to take care of his son....AYFKM?
Now this may sound AWFUL coming from a grandmother, but I told them from the BEGINNING that having a baby at THIS time in their lives was a big mistake. Have the baby, but give it up for adoption to a family who is WANTING a child and can give him a stable happy home....they were SO in that 'pregnant' fantasy world, she thinking it would be the CURE ALL, this child.....
My son is beside himself. He loves this child.
He is doing so well....he worked VERY hard at his recovery, still attends his weekly meetings....has this apartment they can't move into yet because of having to live with her parents, so he is paying for a place he is not living in....smh.....
My frustration is starting to boil over...hubby asked me WHY did you mention post partum to him? Um,, because I'm a MOTHER,, because it is serious, because it HAS to be tended to? SMH....
I take care of everyone...hubby, kid, dog, at work picking up after customers ALL day long.....I wish just ONCE someone would take care of me....
I was on the uphill part of the rollercoaster during the summer, now....heading downhill.....
Not to mention I've got some health issues of my own I've been putting off getting checked....will be doing that today making appointments....
I wished he just had himself to worry about....it would be more fun....for him and us....as usual some girl is just in the way...his last gf overdosed and died.....she had gotten pregnant (not my sons' some other guy), had the baby....tried to beat the addiction, but couldn't....smh....my fear? It will be the same thing here....
Well, time to call my doctor....
Keep us all in your prayers, please?
He is in a terrible situation.
could her parents watch the baby during the day, and send her away to treatment?
all the sh*t in her system must be making her crazier than ever. so sad.
listen, the baby is well, he is well. lets focus on being grateful for that
meanwhile, you need to get yourself well.
no one takes care of us. it is up to us. My addict is fine now, unless he needs "normal" help. My husband and mother need care help, and husband is retiring soon and is turning into a moanie old man....so...I need to get cracking too...volunteering and exercise. I can't afford my yoga classes around here yet...not until I see how we are doing on a budget.
SO
lets start saying one good thing we are doing for ourselves....
I am going to go out and replace my lost yoga CD and get back into working on stretching this poor old tired body of mine.
your good thing was making doctor's appointments for yourself.
who else????
saying prayers for all.
I'm kind of at a loss for words right now because my daughter is the girl who messed up her boyfriends life. She got pregnant too but my grandson was born addicted. She was lucky DCS never got involved at first because the drugs she were taking were all prescribed by a doctor for a failed back surgery. She milked that for way too long and when it was time to stop she couldn't so she kept doctor shopping for years.
The one thing she did do right was pick a wonderful father for her son. Eventually he took her to court for custody and it was a big mess. I'm lucky I have a good relationship with him because we now share custody while my daughter is in another sober house after relapsing again.
Don't get me wrong for saying this because I love my grandson, he is my world but it would be so much easier if their wasn't a child involved in this mess. I worry about my grandson all the time because my daughter has put her 4 year old through too much for a little boy.
I will keep you all in my prayers and hope for the best. It's so sad when inoccent little children have to suffer because of their parents actions.
Hugs,
Pat
He also told me the three of them went to Target yesterday and she was trying to steal things???? he took them and put them back and she flipped out in the middle of the store. The exchange I heard from her and her father was awful, I feel sorry for him and her mother. this girl is now abusive now and VERY combattative (spelling?)...anyhow, they are talking, her mom, dad and our son, about calling the police as she can't stand up on her own, she is staggering around, incoherent and fighting with all of them. That poor baby having to be hearing this yelling and screaming. The stealing just pissed me off. And now sadly my son realizes he is NOT wanting to stay with this girl. He doesn't want to put the baby up for adoption but fears he would have to leave his job, etc....so I gave him his options: 1.) you leave plain and simple 2.) you leave and take the baby with you and go to the apartment your paying for but aren't staying at and arrange for daycare for your child. 3.) you put the baby up for adoption. #1 wasn't flying, he is in fear she will fall with the baby or drop him, etc 2.) is a chance and 3) makes him cry.....
My husband? I was trying to tell him what was going on and it seemed more important to go up the street to his friends house to drop off parts for the stupid ass snowmobile his friend is working on. SMH.....he does NOT understand what being a parent is all about. HELL, my folks took me and my son in when I decided to leave my ex ass wipe. I didn't have a job or a penny to my name and I didn't even have to fully explain or finish asking. it was non negotiable. They were PARENTS in the FULL word....
What do I WANT him to do? Forget it all, pack up that child, get him in the car and get his ass up here and we'll go from there! And I think he'd want that too! BUT he has SUCH a good government job that has SOOOOO much potential for him, he doesn't really want to leave it.....smh....
Not for nothing, from the BEGINNING I told him she would NEVER be able to care for a child, she can't care for herself. All the crap she told him about how she was abused by her family, etc, he sees now that it was a lie and she is a liar. Meanwhile, I see her friending all these guys on FB????? And she bitches about a female friend that he and I have in common, a child hood friend that I actually worked with later in life and she flipped out about it!
OMG....God never gives us more than we can handle. Believing in that we only find out that we are stronger than we know.
Me? I would quit my job in a heartbeat, have him drop that baby off to me and I would take care of that child until he gets his ducks in a row.
I warned this girl not to F(*k this up.....I am keeping myself from getting in my car and driving down there and taking that child AFTER I kick the crap out of her.
Okay, clearly I need some anger management right now (I'm clearly venting please don't get worried, I'm not nuts, well not that I know of ;)
Sadly, my son went through SO much to get HER into rehab, getting her on health care, getting her appointments, going to bat for her....smh...I feel sad for her. She is screwed up more than anyone knew.
I told him I was fearful for his own decline and hope that he keeps his strength up so that he will stay sober, for that baby as he is the LAST hope for that child.
Sadly, a couple I work with JUSt lost their two month old grandchild three nights ago. :(.....they loved that little baby! I do not know the cause of the childs' death, but they are so very saddened by their loss.
I'm grateful my son is well and that baby is well. I just don't want my son going back down the rabbit hole because of all of this!
For the love of joseph....I was so excited he was getting clean, looking forward to holidays and snowmobiling with him again and just enjoying life with him. Not for nothing, I clearly think she planned all this....she was soooo afraid of losing him to his sobriety....smh....
Thanks for reading and thank you for your prayers.....I'm keep you updated.....
My Granddaughter is almost four. I raised her mostly because my DIL is a pill addict. (she says not anymore...don't believe her) When she gave birth the baby was in NICU for about a month. My DIL couldn't care less. Didn't want to see her for three days because she wanted her pills for pain. Yeah right.
Long story short my son left her with the baby and came to live with me. He went out every night and I stayed home. Glad I did...don't get me wrong. Nothing gives me more joy then my granddaughter. In a nutshell I got in the middle...court battle etc. And what happened? He went back to her and I'm the one "who is always looking to interfere". My DIL is a crappy person. Caught stealing with the baby in her stroller.....has made my son who was extremely close to me rageful and nasty. He hates his life....tunes everyone out and stays for the kid.
Not sure what the answer is...but if hes like mine he will eventually go back and you are the bad guy. Makes no sense to me.
I feel for you.