Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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jms7229 08/30/2011

so i have been feeling very down lately, more about every day stresses (see my journal), just needed some one to hold me up for a bit, nothing earth shattering.........turns into a fight! why the f*** does it always have to be my fault??????? why do i let him push me to that point where maybe it is my fault????????? now he is "punishing" me????? and i am freaking buying into it??????? damn ! i hate this. is divorce the ONLY answer here?
HELP

katrinka 08/30/2011

If your waiting for an addict to hold you up for a bit, you will be waiting a long time. They can't hold themselves up, are self centered. The world revolves around their needs and we just the back ground stuff.
It takes practice not buying into their crap, their lies, the manipulation. He has to take responsiblity for his own actions and you have to practice getting stronger in mind, body and spirit.
At 55 ask yourself where you want to be in 5 yrs. If where your at now is okay, the place you want to be then get use to his crap. If you want more, you want peace, quiet, no drama, start making plans. You don't have to go though with them, but as you get stronger, he may decide he doesn't want to be left behind.

jms7229 08/31/2011

thanks katrinka, my thoughts exactly, after realized i was being punished i just went to the beach. took a long walk called a friend sat on her balcony overlooking the golf-course lake and laughed for two hours. got home qt 10:30 pm( and he was sad to have been left behind.)
i realized within five minutes that i was NOT going to sit there being morose with a drug addict. feeling better now. when i got home he wanted to tell me his story,but there were too many missing chapters so i don't think it can be published.

katrinka 08/31/2011

LOL "he wanted to tell me his story,but there were too many missing chapters so i don't think it can be published"
That is so true!!

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