It has been so long since I posted and thought I would come back and let y'all know my AH was arrested for drunk driving and hasn't had a drink in over 100 days. He's attending counseling and having urine tested for alcohol as his lawyer said would help his case. His sentencing is the end of January. I have supported him even though I still feel so angry at all he put me and our 3 kids through. I don't know how we ever lived like that. Life is so much better now. My mom is very sick and on hospice and I can spend the night with her and not worry about him being drunk. I come home from work to a sober person now and not living in constant fear of him hurting the kids in one way or another. But I still have feelings of regrets and think about the way things were. I still have a lot of unresolved emotions and struggle with depression and unhappiness. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. I still feel so angry and think I deserve so much more thanks for putting up with it but I'm not sure he gets it. He doesn't understand or care how hard it was on me. I still don't feel complete and not sure why? I'm mad because now I have to act like all is fine when I feel so messed up still. Anyone have any wise words to help me understand what is happening? We have been married for 14 years and he was drunk the entire time every second of every day...