Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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Asking for Prayers

bpulli1
bpulli1
I am trying to get to a point with my mother that I don't let her consume me. I am trying to accept the fact that this may be the way she dies. She is 61 and a crack addict. I have had to many arguments with my husband and I am easily aggrevated by my own kids when dealing with it. I have said since she doesn't want to be bothered when she is using and only wants to come over once the damage is done to talk about that I'm not going to get her then. I stay up all night thinking about what debt she is getting in. These dealers let her credit and most times she ends up crediting way more than she can pay. I end up paying her house bills once she promises this is it. I can't do that.
GMaWilli
GMaWilli
Prayers for strength & peace to you. No one should be in these kinds of situations. If she loses her house, she may have to live in a homeless shelter, but that is her choice in the end. So sorry for your pain.....I understand.
bpulli1
bpulli1
thank you. I am about to start researching shelters because I know it is coming. She is not going to pay her electric and water and she isn't coming here. My 11 year old said tonight "Grandma is too old for this foolishness" She has great grandchildren. This is ridiculous. When will I get a chance to stop worrying about her. She is the mother not me. Why can't she act like it for once.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are in my prayers. My mantre is the serenity prayer. Courage, strength, and wisdom. I hope you can find each of them for yourself.
patnard
patnard
My prayers and thoughts are with you. You are in an unusual situation I think, usually it is the parent concerned for the chils, this must be so difficult for you. I will keep you both in my prayers.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can't imagine being in a situation like that with ones own mother. It sounds like she's a master manipulator, and knows how to make you feel guilty. It's hard to see immediately how coming to her rescue is the last thing you should do. She needs to experience the consequences of her actions. How painful for you, though, and I feel for your children growing up witnessing this.

Like those of us dealing with adult children who are addicts, we have to take care of ourselves and safeguard the healthy members of the family first. The addict would drag you down into their misery with them, except we're the ones feeling miserable and they're escaping into their drug-addled world.

You sound like a wonderful, caring person, and you deserve to enjoy life. Do you have any support groups like Nar-Anon, or some counselling for yourself? Good luck and best wishes to you!