Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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quilters4 02/22/2015

I'm looking for some suggestions on dealing with my addict. She travels to different emergency rooms for drugs. She gets money on the first of the month and by the last week of the month she is broke. So then she contacts her sister and I, telling us how much she misses us. Then it starts do you want to go for coffee, dinner, etc. Of course we have to pay.
Last month I told her I wouldn't go for coffee if she had been to the er for drugs, she lied to me. I found out the next day she had gone the morning of the day we went for coffee.
I'm beginning to dread the end of the month knowing what's coming. It causes a lot of tension in my home.
I'm preparing for this week with her and looking for some suggestions.
Thanks

jainlor 02/22/2015

say no

blueviolet725 02/22/2015

no matter what time of month she is going to be using. she is an addict. either see her or don't. I figure as long as you don't drive her to the ER and get in that drama...meeting her for coffee and a meal...if you can handle it, do it. if she acts up...leave immediately

quilters4 02/22/2015

If only it is a meal or coffee but it is also involves asking for money. Once the first comes and she gets more money she is gone again. Then it starts again the next month

blueviolet725 02/22/2015

Than maybe you need to save yourself the heartache...or tell her before you meet that you are not giving her any money....I did feed my kid during his problems...but no cash.
I might go anyway, just to make sure they are still around....but if it is too much? you can skip it.
we all have to choose what is right for us. not the addict. us.

MomOfAStranger 02/24/2015

Harsh as it may sound, cut your daughter off. Remind her that your love for her is infinite and because of this you are no longer willing to aid her in her addiction.

You might suggest options to her, such as:

- Teen Challenge {a Christ-based long-term residential rehab for addicts 12 and older - male & female}: http://teenchallengeusa.com/

- Celebrate Recovery: http://www.celebraterecovery.com/

Let her know that you will support her in any effort to get clean, but not by funding any part of her life...not even dinner or coffee. Addicts have a unique ability to manipulate everyone around them so that all their basic needs are met. I know this from experience.

*hugs & prayers*

Misssy2 02/24/2015

Tell her you have to deny the coffee invitations for a while and that you need her to get well.

And once you do that....you will feel so much better.....as time goes by.

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