prayers your way. keep the faith. find something to enjoy for yourself today... and smile alot!

I'm atheist, but I'll be thinking of him.

I am so sorry. You know this can be conquered....so never give up hope. You do need to make sure you take care of yourself and your husband...this kind of stress, the second time around? It can't be good for your health.
He may not be interested in rehab....yet....what does his girlfriend think about it? does she use?
Sorry I wasn't around. I have been with my mom the last 3 days.

I've been thru this twice. I know the toll it takes on a family. I found myself on burn out and Was exhausted. But the hope Blue says is true. They need to believe someone has hope and faith in them.
Mine wasn't interested in rehab either. But I made life difficult for him and he's clean now since early July in rehab.

Prayer is awesome. It works. So does sitting with him and talking
And never giving up.

PS...you don't have to be religious to pray. Your higher power is what you want it to be and how you see it. I personally believe in God and prayed my hardest for my boys.

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers & encouragement. Our son's girlfriend is done. She has been enabling him for several years now, thereby supporting his percocet addiction. A couple of months ago, he started using heroin. Girlfriend says he smokes/snorts it, but doesn't shoot-up...not that either is good. She finally had enough and threw him out. We have no idea where he is now.

I've private-messaged him on Facebook {sometimes our only means of communication with him} to let him know that nothing he could ever do would cause us to stop loving him, or to love him less. We've made it clear that we will not loan him money or let him move in here, but that we'll support any effort to get clean.

I, too, believe in the power of prayer to Almighty God, Creator of us all. We've seen His intervention countless times when situations were humanly impossible. Our older son had exactly the same attitude toward getting clean until he ended up in jail. That's where God got his attention. I know beyond all doubt, that God can rescue our other son as well, if he wants to be rescued. It's just so hard to go through it....again.

Heroic addict thanks for sharing that. It's great for those who really have no idea what to do.

But in the end...you wanted help and that's what worked. Good for you!

Prayers and thoughts being sent you way. I hope you hear from him soon and talk him into getting help.

I "spoke" with our younger addict son today via private messaging on Facebook...currently the only way he'll communicate with us. He is playing the victim, claiming he'll always be poor, that he has no future. When I remind him that he is where he is due to his own choices, he feels he's being attacked and/or put down. He is a highly intelligent individual, exceedingly gifted with music, and has multiple skills. He has the ability to be very successful, but instead he's chosen a life of addiction.

It breaks our hearts on a daily basis, yet we know that there is literally nothing we can do. We tell him we love him and want to help him get clean so he has a chance for a life, but he's not interested. He prefers to wallow in self-pity and blames everyone but himself for his circumstances.

We went through all of this and more with our older son. We are all too familiar with the patterns and behaviors. As hopeless as it seems, I try to remind myself that it was equally as hopeless with our older son who has been clean now for over a year. It's just so, so hard to face going through it all over again with our second son. There are no guarantees that he will survive his lifestyle, and we know that.

Why can't he see that using is destroying his life? Why can't he see that there is no future in this destructive lifestyle he's chosen? Oh, the deception of addiction! The lies from the Evil One that lure people into the darkness! How I hate it!

I truly appreciate all of your prayers and encouragement. Some days, Daily Strength is what gets me through.

I'm happy to hear that you finally heard from your son but sorry to hear he still refuses help. Just keep telling him you both love him and are there for him when he is ready. That's all you can do for now. I'll be keeping you in my prayers and wish you all the best.
Hugs,
Pat

I am glad you see so much about his addiction so clearly. They kind of do know what they are doing to us...but they CAN detach from us, while we can't as easily from them. Plus if they feel bad? just another reason to use.
I hope he can follow his brother's footsteps into sobriety.
I hated being so powerless.

Seems like he feels like his life is already ruined, and that additional using isn't going to make much of a difference.

I try to push the point that mistakes are all just part of life and that it's brave to get up and try again.

I will pray for peace and guidance for your whole family. Yes united is top priority as a couple dealing with any children but especially those in crisis.

You've both been down this road before. Take time to reflect on how you handled your older sons addiction. Look back at what worked and what didn't. I would even ask your order son for advice on what got through to him.