Sorry I know how this hurts. My ah at the time was telling me how he missed me, wanted to come back. All the time he is living with another woman, and they are having a baby this month. To make things worst, his mother will not quit texting me or calling me, She wants to know where he is because she knows the baby has to of been born by now. I did not need to know the "baby" should of been born now.
I found these today;
Your time is precious, don't waste it on some who doesn't realize you are too!
In life, there are some people you're going to have to lose in order to find yourself.

I was horribly cruel to him tonight. For that I am sorry. I try not to be so mean. And tonight, I was exceptional. I do not know what tomorrow will bring. I know that my Mack, would never be so heartless. But he is no longer my Mack. He belongs to the heroin now. My Mack died when he started using. I will mourn his loss deeply. Now, it's time to put back together the pieces of my shattered heart. It's time to move on.

living with someone sick, sometimes we get sick ourselves, acting in a way we would not usually act. That is why we always encourage each other to take care of ourselves. You are right. time to move on.

And I hate to say it, but go to your doctor and get tested for anything he may have exposed you to; and go back in 6 months and test again.

I already had the full spectrum of tests. I'm clean. I did that last week. My heart really hurts today.

If he is close in age to you, then your Mack has been gone a long time. Looking back after 12 years of marriage I see how my ah could be sweet, funny, kind but there was also another side that the drugs controlled.
When I was going through my depression I read the book Loveshock it was my favorite book for getting over grief when the %^$# is still alive. You can find it on Ebay, its an old book but written really good and its not a really long book. It has excellent suggestions.
Hugs

I could not agre with blueviolet more living with someone sick makes us sick and makes us act in ways we would not normally act.

Im so sorry