Let's face it, addicts lie.

My Mack, who I love with all my heart, is addicted to opiates. He has a bad back. bad enough to need surgery, but he would never go. His doctor started prescribing him a high dosage of pain pills. That was 2-3 years ago. Now the thing about pain pills/opiates, the more you use them, the more they don't work. You need to keep increasing the dosage to get the same "relief" (for lack of a better word), you achieved when first starting the opiates. About 3 months ago, he started using heroin. I look at it now and relize it's the natural progression of opiate addiction. I found out a week ago that he was using. I kicked him out.

In the past few days, he has been very open and honest with me about his addiction. Well... As honest as an addict can be. There are certain things I know to be truth, because I know him. I know that this is his first stint with heroin. I know this because I know his history and his recent behavioral patterns. I believe him when he said that he wanted to quit and tried quitting a few weeks ago when he saw what a strain it was putting on our relationship. I know this because of how sick he was before I knew he was using. I now know it was withdrawal.

He tells me now, that he wants to get clean. He wants to stay clean. He wants his life back. He has lost EVERYTHING because of his addiction. He wants our family back.

I've given him the information on treatment programs. It's up to him to make that phone call. I hope and pray that he does. Because I want our family back.

I'm supposed to see him today for the first time since I found out. I'm excited and nervous and hopeful and so so sad. We are meeting for lunch. Well, we are if he shows up.

So, am I crazy to have hope?

I want to believe him that he wants to get better. But let's face it, addicts lie.