Answer your question by looking in the mirror ,,, no one can tell you to walk away,,, if I wrote your post,,, how would you respond to me?


Just rember this ; empty threats is wasted air,,, say what you nea, mean what you say,,,

If you choose to stay,, that's how you want to live your life,,,,

Yes, I know all of that. I've made those empty threats a lot over the years. And no, this isn't how I want to live my life. Even though deep in my heart I know he will never change, I keep that one small sliver of hope that he's going to wake up one day and tell himself he's going to quit drinking. I try to involve us in groups and activities that doesn't involve alcohol in hopes that he'll see how fun life is with being drunk all the time.
I've never discussed this with anyone before and sometimes it would be nice to just have someone to listen to me and help me come to my own realization that it truly will never change until I finally change. I know in my heart I have to make it happen, but I have to take baby steps.
How would I respond to you? Take one day at a time and remember , life is good! Just keep livin'! :)

Amen sister. , Has long as there is life, there is hope,, live your life one day at a time,,, boundaries are so important when dealing with difficult situations

Keep head held high!!

Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. It takes away your self-confidence and it is why we stay in these relationships for so long. I was married to an alcoholic for 17 years, he was mentally and physically abusive which left me having very low self-esteem. We stay because we are scared of the what if's.... If your self esteem has been taken away it is scary to think of how you will make it on your own.
The chances of your husband quitting are slim, most people do not stop their addictions.The number one reason woman stay in relationships with addicts is because of that one sliver of hope. They are afraid they will leave and ex will quit drinking or drugging. So we stay for years living day by day, hoping for a change that never seems to come. My ex died a few months ago, he drank himself to death and his mental and physical abuse to others got worst over the years. I am so glad I left him 16 years ago.
It comes down to you taking back your life and living it the way you want to. Is this the way you want to continue to live? If not then you have to take hold of what you can control and make healthier changes for you.
Start putting money aside and making plans for when you leave. If you do leave take everything you want and I mean everything. To many people think, " I'll get that later." only for it to be long gone. My daughter works for a divorce attorney and it is amazing the things spouses will do to each other. Especially when money or property is involved.

I'd like to add one additional bit of advice to this post and that is if you decide to leave with all your possessions but will leave any real or heavy property behind that you both own, make sure you hire an attorney (or you can do it yourself) to file the proper paperwork in your State that will prevent him from selling things off. When my cousin left her alcoholic husband she had a moving company come and remove her things after he left for work. She told me it was done that way b/c she had too many family antiques at stake.

Cyndee I agree with filing paper work, but did you know many people do not follow that. My daughter had one case, woman married 25 yrs. Husband is caught cheating and files for divorce. He took the house, and most of the belongings. It turned out he had put the house in his mothers name years ago so his wife couldn't get anything from the profit of the house. After about a year and a half this poor woman was finally allowed to go to the house to get her belongings, only to find out he had gotten rid of them all. So this woman who live an affluent lifestyle ended up with almost nothing and since she was a stay at home mom she could only find a job working at a local department store. It is amazing how much this happens. It was my attorney who told me if I leave take all I can and we can fight about it later.
Another woman decided to divorce her husband, filed for divorce said he had abandoned her and all the time he was still living with her. The day the divorce was final the man comes home like usual and the police were there to tell him he doesn't live there anymore. This is how he found out his wife had divorced him and took almost everything.
So we many think people will do the right thing but when it comes to divorce too many people get greedy and do anything but the right thing.

Thank you for all the advice! It sure is helpful. Luckily, I can support myself but I do worry about everything we have acquired since we've been together. And I think I'm a pretty outgoing and positive person. So it truly boggles my mind of why I stay and put up with this. When he's sober, we have such a great time! He makes me laugh until my belly hurts. When he's drunk, he makes my head hurt. I honestly can't figure out why I stay?! I guess because I've never talked about it with other people, it wasn't real. Now that I finally took that first step, maybe I will learn how to start over. I guess that's my problem. Just scared of being alone. Pretty sorry excuse, if you ask me. :) Thanks everyone!

Sometimes we have the wonderful ability to see in others what they don't see in themselves and with that said, there lies hope. Hope that they will too see it and change, I have learned that the only person we can change is ourselves and our surroundings. I can't agree with katrinka more about verbal abuse, the scars are deeper and sometimes we don't know to many years later how it has taken away and destroyed our spirit. Don't let anyone take away the core of who you are.