Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My fiancé is an alcoholic. He will not sleep if he doesn't pass out drunk. Ive seen him struggle. He says he doesn't know if he can stop drinking. I honestly am so broken over this and I dont know what to do. I love him, I dont want to give up on us. But im struggling too.
It's very possible that he is physically addicted to alcohol, which means that it would be dangerous for him to quit drinking on his own. It could be fatal. His doctor can help get him into a detox facility or other medically supervised detox program. From there, the next step is a program to help stay sober. That could be anything from in-patient rehab to out-patient therapy to attending AA meetings. I have several friends who have successfully stayed sober for many years. Two relapsed after decades of sobriety and fortunately both knew what to do to get back to sobriety. You and he need to be aware this is a life-long disease.
If he continues drinking, it's going to get worse. That's the nature of the disease. This can mean legal troubles, job loss, abuse, and/or health problems. My son is a recovering addict (heroin, pills, and alcohol). It's the alcohol that eventually led to health problems, including stomach and liver problems--at the age of 29. I have a friend whose husband was an alcoholic and eventually died of esophageal cancer, which is directly related to the alcohol.
He has a decision to make, and it's out of your control. Just as he has to decide what he is going to do, you have a choice to make. If you go ahead with this marriage, go in with your eyes wide open. Learn whatever you can about this disease so you know what you are signing up for.
Some find the group Al-Anon to be a great help. Personally, I found reading books on the topic of addiction to be very enlightening. If you are looking for help for yourself, I'd recommend the books Codependent No More and Boundaries.