Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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marg6300 01/21/2013

So last week my son had a slip up. He took 6 percocet that his sister had gotten from the convenient medical. We confronted him immediatley and told him we were going to make him take a drug test but he confessed and we didn't have to. The next step for him was to tell his group and counselor what he had done. I worried that he would lie to them and tell us he told them but not really tell them at all so I called his counselor to request a meeting. Justin is now progressing the the next level of treatment and I claimed to have questions concerning that. She met with me and told me that Justin had admitted to his slip up and that she felt he was ready for the next step of his treatment. He had been going for 9 hours a week and now he will only be doing 3 to 5 hours a week. I am of course worried its not enough and Justin said he is also worried it is not enough support but she assured us that he can let them know if he feels its not enough. She said he did all the right things after slipping up and we just need to keep plugging away with his recovery. Some of the folks in his group say he should have to start all over with the counting of his days but the councelor said he does not have too.its only a relapse if had continued on with using and since he did it just one time it is concidered just a slip up. He just can't do it again and hopefully he won't. He said it happened so quick he didn't even plan it and I do believe him. I got a little too complacent by leaving those pills out and it made all of us realize how he really is stiil in the very early stages of recovery. We all learned a valuable lesson and I just wanted to share. One day at a time is how we are all getting through this.

blueviolet725 01/21/2013

Past days don't really count anyway....every day is one day at a time.
If he feels he needs more support, aren't there any narc anon meetings he could go to in addition to his OP?

the great thing is that he is trying to get well. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other every single day....

If he needs more support, and they won't give it to him, then he needs to find more elsewhere. My son had to live somewhere, for months...so I say, encourage him to do whatever it takes.

Blessings to you and yours.

cardinal39 01/21/2013

Our eyes are placed in front of our face for that reason., so we walk forward,,, Justin has his tools all in place,,, mimma you have to let him make those descions,,, it's not just about not the use of drugs,,, but the ability to make life choices,,,,

Peace!

jainlor 01/22/2013

so happy that he didn't continue! thinking of you often :)

deehigs 01/22/2013

Cyndee, I am very impressed that justin told his group what happened. Hiding truths and lying are hand in hand with someone who is just covering up.I think it really sounds like Justin is working very hard to get better. That is great. My son slipped up in Dec after 90 days clean but even though he hasn't done it again i don't feel like he was honest at his group and came clean about it . That is what worries me. I know it doesn't change overnight but I wish I saw more effort to be open with us but I don't, Matt is still very guarded. I realize everyone has their own journey to getting better and so I keep my thoughts to myself and hold out hope ( and alot of prayer) that he is working to recover It's a hard life to love an addict but it's a hard life to be one too. Keep going forward Justin we're proud of your progress!

deehigs 01/22/2013

* Sorry I meant Marg not Cyndee guess i had Cyndee on my mind too*

dmatt124 01/23/2013

Hi Marg, I sometimes think the days is a double edge sword, because when they have to start over I think they feel like complete failures. However, you can never take away the knowledge, and the tools they have been given. To me the most important thing is he slipped up and didn't go and continue to use, that is positive. Each day is an opportunity to start again, and he is doing that. keeping you and Jason in my prayers.Your doing good marg,

katrinka 01/23/2013

Only in AA do they say you have to start over. Psychologist and therapist call it what it is a slip. Who hasn't gone on a diet and cheated on the diet does that mean you have to go back to square one? No you have to get back on watching what you eat, but no one can take away all those pounds you already lost. If you do not watch what you eat, and gain back the the weight then yes you are back to square one. Food addiction is very big problem in this country.

cardinal39 01/23/2013

It's about progress not perfection,,,I agree you certainly can't take back a accomplishment ,,,,,slipping does not mean you fail, picking yourself back up is succeeding

It's not about the storm,, it's the ability to dance in the rain

deleted_user 01/23/2013

My sister (heroine addict) was in a similar situation several years ago in an oupt rehab setting. She took some vicodin of my mothers and was actually kicked out of the group. They had a zero tolerance policy I guess. She struggled for many years and is finally doing well in a sober living home.
My only advice to you is realize it's not your fault for leaving the pills out.. If he wanted to use something he would have found a way somehow. Continue to be a strong support, but realize nothing you do can make him well. That is in his hands.. all you can do is love him and support his positive choices. Best of luck to you and your son.
Karen

deleted_user 01/23/2013

Good luck to you and your family. I can't offer any advise since we are not there yet. My son still doesn't admit that he has a probem.

jms7229 01/23/2013

Hey Katrina, I agree about the food addiction.....my mother is a food addict in the truest sense of the word and my therapist includes this fact when we discuss the fact that I grew up in an addicted family. I too have food addiction tendencies and as difficult as it is to control my weight, it does give me insight into the urges and brain of my husband.
Marg..... I think he gets to keep the days, they were hard earned, my husband has been battling addiction for sooooo long, and there are slip ups and mistakes and they aren't all disasters. Keep the faith and the love.

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