Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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marg6300 01/15/2013

Hi guys, my daugher is staying with us for a few weeks and got very ill over the weekend. She ended up getting a prescription for Percocet. We both agreed I should hang on to them to make sure Justin didn't get them. Well I screwed up and left them on my dresser. Justin is 95 days clean and sober.
Well last night when my husband was driving Justin to his 3 hour intensive outpatient class they had to pull over 3 times while Justin threw up. they turned around and came home and Justin said I don't know why but I feel a lil sick.
Later in the evening maybe 7 PM I noticed he was nodding off and shortly after my daughter came to tell me 6 pills were missing.
We waiting awhile for the little ones to get to bed and then we confronted Justin. He said no way would I take those I have a drug screen on Thursday and my daughter immediatly looked it up and saw that the drugs would be out of his system in two to three days. Justin still tried to deny it and my daughter was like then I'm going to go buy a drug test and you're taking it.We all knew he took them we were just hoping he could admit to it. Well he then did admit to it. He said the first day he was able to fight the urge but the second day when he saw them sitting out in the open he could not resist. My daughter had told them she got them but then she told him I threw them away. I screwed up by leaving them out in the open.
Once he admitted to taking them we all talked calmly and said this is just one slip up and he was going to have to share with his group and therapist what happened and just start over. We told him we loved him and we just needed him to be honest about everything. I hope I handled it correctly. If it was a full blown relapse he would have taken the whole bottle and been gone. I am hoping to talk to his therapist today to see what else I should have could have done.
I know I am to blame for leaving them out but I guess I have gotten kind of complacent. We have alcohol in the house and he has never touched a drop and these pills I just forgot about them. I am to blame sort of but the thing is the drugs are going to be everywhere and if he wants them he is going to find them.
I guess this is our wakeup call that he is still very sick... As long as he gets right back to his treatment like I am expecting this does not have to be a major setback right?

WishKittie 01/15/2013

Its not your fault you left the pills out. You have a busy life and you should be able to leave things like that without having to worry. He made the decision to take them when he could have walked away so do not blame yourself.

Many addicts relapse briefly and are able to come back and stay clean, your doing a great job just keep him focussed and learn and move forward from this.

Good Luck and Take Care

jms7229 01/15/2013

I think an open admission and a calm discussion are good signs of moving forward! Instead of continued lies and big drama. I will keep him in my prayers.

deehigs 01/15/2013

Agreed The most important thing is that he admitted taking them and that he goes forward from here. NO ONE is to blame for forgetting the pills out etc, The only thing I would have done different is not told him that there was a bottle of them to begin with. NOT that it is anyones fault but Justins. I just think what they don't know won't hurt them. My husband had surgery in October for a hernia and he was given a bottle of oxycodone. i have them hidden in the house where matt would never look and he doesn't even know we have them to begin with. Why should he? I just think why plant the seed of knowing they are here. And yes it is true that he could go get them anywhere if he wanted too. i just know as a smoker who has quit many times when I have hidden cigarettes for an emergency and i know they are there i can fight it for a little while but when it would get too bad I would always smoke them. I would think harder and longer before actually getting in the car and driving to the store and buying a pack but if they were in the house forget it just my 2 cents . I have faith Justin will continue moving forward he is doing great. hugs Dee

deleted_user 01/15/2013

Hi marge of course it is not your fault. I had a very wise man tell me that relapse is part of recovery. It is also part of our recovery as long as he starts doing the right things right away If he has a sponcer he should call him if he doesent he should get one now he should be doing meetings every day,He has to learn its not just about being clean its about changing from within I know after a period of time my daughter had a relapse She learned from it and to this day it helped her in her recovery. Here is hoping your son will learn the same lesson

Pen125 01/15/2013

I too think it's not your fault. Relapse happens no matter if there are pills laying around or not. True, it might happen later, but in such a way that you might not see the signs and have full evidence. So, in one way and since he finally admitted to it and will talk it through with his therapist, all this might be for the better.

Also, I think you handled it just fine. Firm and calm.. That's a long way from drama.

I'd too be more carefull though in the future, not for any other reason but to not go on another self-blame trip.

jainlor 01/15/2013

glad you confronted him and that you threatened to drug test him. glad that he admitted it. now he starts again. forgive him; forgive yourself and start over. so tomorrow will be 96 days; that;s the way i look at it. it was a slip. it doesn't undo the last 95 days. wishing you strength and hope justin doesn't suffer too much :)

cardinal39 01/15/2013

Progress not perfection is what recovery is all about, not just to that addict, but to us as well,,, relaspse would be not admitting, and continuing, slip is admitting and jumping right back in,,,,

It's not about the storm ,, it's ghe ability to dance in the rain,,, unfortunately for the rest of Justin 's life he will be faced with "possibilities" recovery is not just about the use of drugs, it's the ability to live the life without the drugs,,,

If only we could hide all those bad things,, woukd n't life be less of a struggle,,,

You did good momma,,, now move forward ,,, focus on sobriety not dwell on slip up,,

Love ya

kimpalmer 01/16/2013

Marg~ don 't beat yourself up sweetie...Justin, and all of our kids will be faced with many situations in which there are drugs around... He admitted it, and I bet he was not too excited about being so sick... Might just take the glory out of it for him... You are an amazing mom for being calm and encouraging for him... Praying for you and Justin.

katrinka 01/16/2013

It was a slip, now if he doesn't get back on track then it will go into a full blown relapse. You are human and we all do things in hind sight we wished we had done different, that said, he has the tools he needs and he needs to use them. Its good he admitted to taking them. He doesn't touch alcohol because that is not his drug of choice. Most of us have demons and for me I do not want any cookies or cake in the house it will drive me crazy. My sub-conscience will keep reminding its there. Remember 95 days is nothing and he is new to recovery so slips do happen.

jainlor 01/16/2013

thinking of you today marg; hope things are going well

deleted_user 01/17/2013

Your reaction and action is what impresses me the most. Handled like a true professional in the body of a mom. I hope your son knows how lucky he is to have you in his life...

beantown 01/17/2013

I think you handled the situation beautifully, and, no, you are absolutely not to blame. Our recovering addicts have to get to the point where they can resist temptation on their own. Drugs will sometimes be shoved in their face and they'll have to be able to turn away. I can't even imagine how hard that must be but that's the only way they'll stick to their recovery. You showed a lot of strength and self-control and I'm sure this was very reassuring to him, too. They do so need us to be strong. All the best.

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