Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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A not at all funny story

alecsnana23
alecsnana23
My MIL died just over two years ago and for the last six months of her life, I was her hospice nurse and I have to tell you why it was so stressful besides the fact that a woman I had loved for many years was dying. Her granddaughter could not help because she was addicted to opoids and the Ambien. Her son could not help because of the same reason. Her daughter came for the weekend--and was a nurse--but her husband came with her and he was the worst one of all--he would even drink her liquid codeine and morphine--and my MIL didn't know any of this and she adored all of these people.They all have good jobs! I finally had to tell the hospice managers know I needed a little respite and after that I just locked everything up and had the only key and told ALL the family that hospice had suggested that since I had the medical power of attorney this would be a good ideal But I did lose 32 pounds......
givenup107
givenup107
Seems we are all surrounded. Hard to feel somewhat normal today in a society that seems to have so much chaos.

Your right. Not a funny story. Nothing about addiction is. Losing 32 pounds is called the stress diet. I think it's a sign we have to start taking care of ourselves and not everyone else
blueviolet725
blueviolet725
Did they stop coming around once they couldn't steal her drugs?
alecsnana23
alecsnana23
Soon after I started locking up her drugs, she passed away. Since that time only one BIL has gone through rehab. (He had been clean and sober for 26 years before his relapse.) My SIL the nurse has admitted that her husband has a serious problem and locks up her drugs. I am happy to have caller ID and to live 4 states away!
Puddinsparkleytoes
Puddinsparkleytoes
I have always heard incredible stories of how some family members act when someone they "love" is dying or has passed. I experienced it first hand and was astounded at the selfish, hostile and crazy-making things I saw my own family doing while my mother was in the hospital then eventually hospice care. Several were picking over her personal things while she was still alive yet there had been no "death knell" given by the medical staff at that point.

I have slowly come to realize that powerful family dynamics, old hurts and anger come rushing to the surface for so many people when a loved one is dying. Unresolved issues in addition to the fear and grief of losing someone can have a shocking effect on some people and their behavior can be abysmal during that time. Drug addicts are some of the worst since they can barely think past getting high while the responsible adults are left to carry the heavy burden of making difficult decisions and dealing with the day to day responsibilities. Works out great for those irresponsible folks while people such as yourself are struggling under the heavy burden of doing everything with little to no support.

I feel for you and have been in your shoes. Know that you did your best. As for those 32 pounds......if you wanted to lose them anyway, try and frame it as a silver lining in an otherwise awful situation. If not, you deserve to treat yourself to a few wonderful meals at your favorite restaurant anyway. :)