Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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a lesson learned

quilters4
quilters4
I had made arrangements with my addict to only have contact with her on Fridays. I would text her to see how she is doing. I block my phone because I don't like the drama. Well I texted her today. I have not heard anything back from her. So the worry starts, old feelings come rushing back etc. I have decided I do better with no contact. I have been working the steps all week doing pretty well till today
However normally I would have tried to track her by now, sent her a dozen texts, the usual stuff. But I have told myself there is nothing I can do for her, only myself. I'm strong and I don't want to go backwards on this journey only forwards. If I haven't heard from her by five I will text her again to tell her I love her and that I will text her next Friday then I will block my phone again
I finally packed her room up and now I'm finally going to have a sewing room. It was hard to do but as I packed her stuff I would pray for her. It was way beyond time and it helps to have a fresh start. Every time I passed her room and saw her stuff it made me so sad.
I'm keeping all of us in prayer as we continue our own journey from hell
Peace
MomOfAStranger
MomOfAStranger
I appreciate your strength & resolve. I'm going to need an extra dose in the coming weeks. After leaving a rehab program early due to medical issues, our addict moved in with us. Although he is still clean - with the exception of having gone back to smoking cigarettes - and although he continues with a local 12-step as well as regular Bible study & church attendance, he has made no effort whatsoever to get a job. He's been in our home now for 2 months. We are going to give him a deadline to move out - probably February 1st. I have no clue where he will go or if he will maintain sobriety, but at age 29, its time for him to stand on his own two feet, take responsibility for supporting himself, and move forward with his own life. Maybe then, we can have our lives back.

Please pray for us, if you think of it.
blueviolet725
blueviolet725
That was a very healthy choice.
I know someone who had a son who kept running away. They put up a for sale sign...guess what? he showed up to find out what was going on....his manipulation did not work.
a very wise woman- my mom- told me "Bad news travels fast"
and I do believe that. When I get stuck in my negative thinking....I have to remember that.
Enjoy the space. make it pretty. you deserve it.
kimpalmer
kimpalmer
Strong lady!! Good for you! We all still worry.. I try not to "live there though" ... Some days better than others...
I have cleaned out my son's room too... Now a "craft room" (albeit very messy) lol
hopingforsunnydays
hopingforsunnydays
Oh boy can I relate to this. I DO feel better when I don't talk to our son. It took us alot to finally throw him out. I remember the feeling of relief after I packed up ALL his belongings and told him to pick them up, it took a couple years but finally he got most of his stuff, which he has since sold or pawned :(. BUT DO make that space YOURS, fresh paint, your machine, your materials....so when you walk by it you will smile or head in to make a FABULOUS quilt. Your doing AWESOME! STAY STRONG. Remember they also have the choice to get help, and only THEY can make the choice to get better. We can NOT do it for them. I call it the 'dark place' when I go into that spin or worrying where he is, texting, sending FB messages to him. I have since stopped. I may send a FB message once a week to say 'I love you' and that is it.

You should be proud of YOU. It isn't easy, at ALL....but keep it up!

Hugs and prayers to you!
quilters4
quilters4
It truly is hard to not try and find out where they are at. Today is one of those days. It just means I have to put more effort into not giving in to myself and try to track her. Sometimes it just make me crazy But I have tor remember not my circus not my monkeys
IamDonetoday
IamDonetoday
Hi...I found the book A Beautiful Boy: A father's journey through his son's addiction" really helpful...it talks about what you are going through...
My prayers go out to you..