Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
So Ive done what everyone suggests I do which is leave my alcoholic husband. Now explain to me why I feel like shit and why do I feel so guilty for abandoning him. Its been 7 days now and I am going crazy without him. I love him tremendously and I cant help but feel that I am making a mistake for leaving him. I dont want a divorce I want him to wake up and do something about this situation. Why wont he get it!! I thought that leaving him would wake him up and somehow he would realize how serious I am about his sobriety and that magically he would stop but I guess not. Now I have to figure out what my next step is. I just dont know if 7 days apart is enough time to decide divorce. I feel like I need to be patient and allow him to figure things out without me pushing but Ihave such a difficult time staying away. I cant help but feel curious as to whether he is drinking or what he is doing over there without me. I really need to get control of myself I guess. If I dont I may end up making a big mistake by either letting him back home or divorcing him. God give me patience!!
at rehab they said it takes as long to get well as it did to get sick.
7 days is nothing...not for you to feel ok or the addict to have a wake up call.
you don't have to think about divorce. you have to think about doing the next right thing for you.
You are so used to spending all your time thinking about him, you need to spend that time dreaming great big dreams for you. Remember that you are already in recovery...whether he is or not...and recovery is hard work.
let it go. it is out of your control. do the serenity prayer.
We are only here for a short while. It is up to US to dictate how we live our lives. Our lives are a blessing.
It has nothing to do with you, it is all with him. YOU need to find things to occupy your mind and be good to YOU. Because truth be told, the ONLY ones that can treat us well are ourselves. I know it sounds 'cold'. But it is also called survival.
You don't have to think about divorce right now, what you NEED to think about is YOU. Now that you are not together, find YOU.
I lived for 11 years as a single parent after I left my ex husband and I was scared! No money, I worked, but didn't make a whole lot. Yes I had family, but I was NOT asking for that kind of help. I figured it all out (and we didn't have computers back then lol). I changed jobs, got a great job, figured out my daycare situation and worked my tail off. (and I'm not a college graduate with a degree).
We ALWAYS had a great apartment in a good location, then moved to FLA and I bought a home there, hated it, sold the home, moved to CO not knowing ANYONE there, figured it all out and stayed there for 3 years and we had a BLAST! Moved back to our home state, started over there and in the interim, did date, but only found more idiots, so just didn't bother. Then he came along, my elementary crush! LOL...we've been together 15 years now! I love him like crazy!
I shared to show you that with strong will, with determination and with great love for yourself, it can turn out totally awesome!
Find you rummi, find YOU!
You only get ONE ticket to the big dance! So enjoy it the way YOU want to enjoy it!
Hugs to you! You'll find your way. :)