Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My son is 27 and a bit over 2 years ago he broke down and asked for help with his opiate addiction ( I suspected something). I assured him I would do whatever I could to help. I was able to put him on my insurance and he found help and did really well (I think) with Suboxone and tapered quickly. He worked and went to school (he just has a few hours to graduate) for 2 years until May when he "disappeared" from my life. He was/is living here. Said he found a great girl (she is also an addict). Very little contact over the summer. He started college classes this fall. Within a month, I was sure that he was no longer attending classes, nor working, nor making car payments, nor car insurance payments. He had a great credit rating and was proud of it! He has not asked me for any money, which also concerns me. He always needed, $10, $20, etc. He will text me with "Love you", "Hope you are having a good day", but I have trouble believing that he is just trying to keep me at bay. I have come to the conclusion (with the help of a counselor and my son's father's family) that I just need to "let go" and let whatever happen. I have an appointment with my counselor Friday and going to Al Anon. I am so consumed with him and his issues that I no longer have a life. My heart is broken into a million pieces. Thanks for listening. Reading your entries has really helped me. Thank you.
You have NO control over this, and when we really believe this and try to accept it, it brings a small bit of peace.
Please, say the Serenity Prayer often, and believe in it!
I will keep you, your family, and your son in my thoughts and prayers....
When I hear you say, "I am so consumed with him and his issues that I no longer have a life. My heart is broken in a million pieces.", I feel a need to respond... Yes, your heart feels broken, yet it is a heart filled with love. We love our children with all our hearts, and it is a painful tragedy that they have taken this path. But we have to take that pain we feel, acknowledge it, own it, and then store it in a part of our psyche that does not dominate every thought. Put it to the "back of your mind". You have your own story and this is a sad part of it, but it is not your whole life. You need to recover those things that bring you joy, and fill your life with renewed purpose. It is good to hear that you have a counsellor and AlAnon. Lots of people here have a religious faith that gives them strength. I keep going with creative outlets - music, art, writing, and sometimes just doing crossword puzzles to stop obsessive thoughts. I pray too.
Daily strength is a major refuge and solace for me. It's a place I can take out that pain and sorrow I have separated from my day-to-day life, and face it with the care and support that comes from so many wonderful people. You are not alone here.