Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
The feelings are back...Frustration, Fatigue, Fear, Failure...and they all lead to depression... My husband has been home from work since Sunday...and today, after his dr's appointment, and after we ate...he just starts nagging at me about shit...he wants to control what and how I dvr my shows...which lead him to asking about his radio...which now he wants the pawn ticket and the rest of his stuff...which I totally understand...but he doesn't....so now he's all upset with me cause I am treating him the way he's treated me...and I am all upset cause he just doesn't get it...and I am left feeling like shit...
I am anxious...I want to run and scream and break things...I want him to get it and he just don't...I can admit that I am wrong...but he can't ...I get those awful feelings...I have so much to do but I can't do it cause of these damn feelings...
I am frustrated that our relationship has come to this...I am so tired of living this way (that is the fatigue)...I am so afraid that he can't take this and he will give up and leave...he just left for a while, but he came back...then he got on his phone and he was talking to someone I don't know who or about what, but of course I can only imagine...he's planning his departure...which is not what I want...because if he leaves, it will only mean that I failed...I failed as a wife again...and that is what kills me...I just don't know what to do...I need to go to my mom's house and I need to go a chess meeting tonight...but I am afraid to go and come back to nothing...He's off work tomorrow to cause of the holiday...and I am afraid of what the next 48 hours is going to consist of...I guess I'll just go do what I have to do even though I don't want to and I don't feel like it!
ugh...this is so frustrating....
sorry about the rambling vent...
-DepressedRecluse-
I am anxious...I want to run and scream and break things...I want him to get it and he just don't...I can admit that I am wrong...but he can't ...I get those awful feelings...I have so much to do but I can't do it cause of these damn feelings...
I am frustrated that our relationship has come to this...I am so tired of living this way (that is the fatigue)...I am so afraid that he can't take this and he will give up and leave...he just left for a while, but he came back...then he got on his phone and he was talking to someone I don't know who or about what, but of course I can only imagine...he's planning his departure...which is not what I want...because if he leaves, it will only mean that I failed...I failed as a wife again...and that is what kills me...I just don't know what to do...I need to go to my mom's house and I need to go a chess meeting tonight...but I am afraid to go and come back to nothing...He's off work tomorrow to cause of the holiday...and I am afraid of what the next 48 hours is going to consist of...I guess I'll just go do what I have to do even though I don't want to and I don't feel like it!
ugh...this is so frustrating....
sorry about the rambling vent...
-DepressedRecluse-
Have you two discussed the issues in your marriage? Why do you think he'd leave?
Sorry if you've said this already...
You can't keep him like he was a child and doing this is making you a nervous wreck. It's like your on constant watch, I use to do the same thing. Finally I excepted I couldn't control ah and said fine here's your stuff. It didn't end up good for me and it may not end up the way you want either. Except you will finally have peace and no more worrying is he leaving or is he staying. That in itself will drive you crazy.
It sounds like he's finding things to complain about to cause a fight so he can go out and drink or use drugs.
Living with an addict is so draining. It consumes your life. Don't give into the feelings of failure. Remember you didn't choose for him to be an addict, he did. You didn't choose to be constantly stressed by his addiction, no one would. You chose to marry a man you loved and unfortunately he is an addict.
Be kind to yourself love. Don't give into these hurtful feelings. You are a good wife. I know this without ever meeting you as all the wives/husbands of addicts are good wives/husbands living in a bad situation.
Not to scare you or anything but my ex husband caused a big confrontation so I would be forced to leave him, as he wanted. He wanted to be free to use his drugs without me watching over him. No guilt for him that way. Maybe your husband is doing the same thing.
Sorry it has gotten so bad for you. I hope you are receiving the support you need.