I am so frustrated......... Long story short due to an AH our life spiraled out of control. My three boys from a previous marriage have chosen to distance themselves from me and my husband.By this I mean refused to speak to us or see their two year old brother (from this marriage). My 15 year old decided she couldn't take it anymore and decided to go live with her dad (I understand living with the relapses is very difficult and disappointing.) So my husband and I decided to move from Ohio to Florida. During our move he relapsed and I lost it I told him I was done and that I was getting a divorce. I drove back to Ohio dropping him off at his addict son's house per my husband's request. He ended up getting himself into rehab and is now at the completion of his 35 day inpatient treatment and he will be going to a sober living house for 12 weeks.... ok that is the background as to why I ended up back in my parents home.....UGH.

First my family does not even want me to consider giving my husband another chance (yet they "minister" to other people and support their families as they go through similar situations. My husband is not physically abusive, but when drugs are in the picture or lets say lack there of he can become verbally abusive and just start spewing all kinds of nasty hurtful things. Not that its an excuse but I know it is the addiction and not him.
My family has no idea I have spoken with my husband and that we along with our counselors are aiming for reconciliation (this is something that I truly want but realize that it is up to him only if he is willing to put in the work and stay clean.) My counselor advised me to do a watch and see approach giving him a year due to the previous relapse history. His counselor also agreed.

Second, as it turns out all of my children except for my 17 year old son lives with my parents this includes my daughter who I thought was living with her dad. This is an awkward situation with my own children in part due to my parents parenting everyone (my kids, me etc). I use to think I had a codependency issue but I am beginning to think it has more to do with boundaries and knowing why, how and when to set them.

A resent instance my oldest son is having issues with his father (not my husband) and my mother is right there mothering him (telling him what he should/should not be doing etc) while telling me what, how and when to speak or not speak. She told me later this was to protect me from my son lashing out at me. She was telling my niece about the whole outburst and how my son was acting just like my husband when he loses it (which had nothing to do with the situation other than to place a jab at me). Which worked I am so upset. I didn't even know what to say to her. I just sat there thinking wow how things have not changed since I was a kid.... I need to figure out how to get a grip on things meaning me before I spiral out of control. Right now I just want to load up my two year old and run away from everyone. I am so tired. I know I need to respect my parents and their "house rules" but
why do I feel like a child? I am 46 freakin years old and I feel like I am on the same level as my children. No, I don't have anywhere else to go at this time and financially even though I am a nurse and working full time I seem to be getting no where. I don't even know what ends up.

Thanks for allowing me to vent. I would have called my sponsor but she has a final tomorrow and I didn't want to take her focus away from her studying.