Hi

I don't know how long there was a period of sobriety before the incident which resulted in the loss of truck, and i don't know if htere has been any sobriety between then and now, and i am using htat term sort of lightly because I am a little suspicious that these have been so much relapses as more binges, and the fact is that everyone knows the payday...sill they or won't they, but that is not ususally the case when someone is relly in recovery. So if I am reading this right, and of course, this would be JMO, you have been living with an active addict who is out of control and doing what he wants and knows that you will just keep accepting it.

If you do not want to be in the place you are, you have to make that decision. The two most usuall things I hear is that a person cannot take it anymore, it is eating them up, this is usually people who are at the breaking point, and looking for support to start the road to get out. Then there are those who have gottten some support, have begun to realize that they deserve beetter, and have tried some suggestions and see they won't work, and are looking for support to take the next step. Of course, there is alot in the middle, but what I have to say is that i hear none of that in your post.

If addiction just sucks today, I am not sure what to say. You know some of how far it can go, he traded your truck, that is not a reasonable way to live, but it can be someting people come to accept as just another day in the life, and if there is no consequence for something like that, that is part of the problem. Is there anything he can do that would cause you say NO MORE! And mean it?

I would suggest CoDa first. That is the first place to find someanswers as to why you accept this and what your role may be in it. I would also suggest Alanon. You ut yourself through this because it is what you are comfortable with, and what you feel you deserve.

I really hope you wil start to get some support. There is nothing in your post that suggests there is any reason think this is going anywhere but the same place over and over. It is time for you to get off the ride and out of pain.

The saying... "high tolerance for inappropriate behavior" comes to mind. It's not a compliment. It's sad. But, as nikki said... it appears you have become accustomed to the drama, trauma and chaois and have not yet had enough.
What can you do? Leave. Stop being his enabler. Realize life does not have to be this way and make the decision you deserve more.
Until then, stay safe.

I once talked to my AH addiction counselor. Majority of addicts don't get and stay clean right away. It is a gradual process of longer periods between the using cycle. Especially if the addict is over the age of 30 then the chance of them getting and remaining clean is very low.
I know your worried but the truth is you can do nothing, can't help him at this moment and can only wait. I learned to detach really well almost too well. When AH was using I knew it and also knew there wasn't anything I could do so I went to bed and got a good night sleep, I also did not answer phone in middle of the night.
I was setting boundaries. So now its up to you to decide what you want, how long you want to give of your life to a active addict.
I'm not going to say leave him, I don't have the facts of how long he was clean, if he comes back and remains clean for 8 months.
I can only say do what your heart tells you to do, if its time to move on do so.
I left my AH because he went back to using and is still using at times. I was tired of worrying how much he would take, what electronic item would be missing etc.
No one or I should say majority on this board ever left the first time our SO messed up and I think after being in a long term relationship it takes time to make changes. So get some counseling if you can afford it and decide where you see yourslef in five years.