I agree quilters4...
and think it is great if you have supportive family around you that get it.
That is such a help through this craziness.
I am sure there are many including myself who only have addicts and enablers in their family...all my support and understanding comes from outside the family. I am watching addicts getting worse & worse with enablers adding to the progression and denial.

with my son it seemed the more I nagged and begged the worse it got. anything I suggested he would do the opposite. he and I have always clashed even before the drugs. it became a game for him. until he lost everything and then he called us for help. he/she has to make the choice to want to stop and get help. just love them, keep the relationship up somehow so that when they are ready they will call you. I used to have lunch with my son once a week just to see him. smelly, unkempt, dirty but I just had lunch with him, hugged him and told him I loved him , I even said a prayer with him everytime. I truly believe all of these things made it easier after 4 long years to ask for help. take care of yourself. I am saying a prayer for you now xoxo

I send you so much encouragement & good wishes. Everyone here who makes progress gives hope to the rest of us. I'm taking small steps myself to reclaim my self. God bless & help us.

Quilters, I am glad that you realize this.. As hard as it is, it truly is her journey... When I first joined this site (my son has been riding this train for 5 years now.. Heroin) I met some ladies that have become my best friends.. (Cardinal, BlueViolet, Jainlor, Marg, DeeMatt, DeeHiggs, Cyndee, Never really met of course.. ) Cardinal used to say.."put on you big girl pants and lipstick". Thinking of you..

trying to change an addict is like running at a brick wall. the faster and harder you run, the more you just splat against that wall...hurting yourself.
But if and when they are ready to do something?
that wall can come tumbling down (still leaving a mess to rebuild...)
we are survivors.

Thank you everyone for all of the encouraging words. We are all connected by a common thread and I give thanks that we do not have to do this journey alone. Sending hugs and peace to everyone today.
We can do it!!

Quilters4...I've been on this ride for 5+ years now. I tried it all too, and finally through this wonderfully supportive website, learned how to stop the enabling, nagging and realize it was his journey, HE would need to learn the lessons the hard way. We threw him out, he's been on the streets for 3+ years now. In/Out of rehab, until he OD'd last month, this was all just found out this past week as he went back to rehab, called me and told me it all. Even with as many as 6+ friends that have died due to od's, it still didn't teach him anything or make him fear until now. He has only been there since Sunday, but sounds different, and has signed a release for his case manager to talk to me. THAT said alot....I had to find ways to keep my mind set. We even moved in the throws of all this to another state due to work. I've found quilting to be my savior right now lol. But it is not easy, MOthers are wired differently, not like our spouses, and to cut the cord and hope that they land on their feet, not easy. I've even prepared myself for 'the phone call'. I handed him over to God. I love my Son, but I loath the addict. I will not give money, gifts, etc, but I will give words of support and love. I keep my sentences short, I say what I mean. All of this is possible with the support from folks on here. So stay connected to the board here, seek therapy for yourself as well, it does help!

Prayers and thoughts and hugs to you! Stay Strong! Be good to YOU, and take care of yourself.