Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Hi my name is Janey and I am the sister of an addict. My sister is addicted to pain meds,her drug of choice is Oxicodone.She has 2 beautiful little girls who are 7 & 8 and she has all but abandoned them to our mother.My mother is her biggest enabler.She gives her money supossedly to pay bills but it always goes to her drugs.She wont go get custody of the children even when she has had them almost 2 years now for fear of my sister hating her and/or killing herself. She is afraid if DCS is called they will take the children out of [my mother] home because too many people live there or that my sister will come take them somewhere thats not safe for them.My ex-brother in law is in the military and she gets $1200 every month for the kids that they never see anything out of.I have tried to talk to him and tell him what is going but he is still in love with her and will beleive anything she says.She has even been arrested for drugs and parphanillia but swore to everybody that all they found in her purse was stomach meds and an unused straw.
It all started in 2000 when her baby and mother in law both died in an accident.Afterwards she started down hill with depression.Then her marriage fell apart and she started taking more and more pain meds escalating from hydrocodone to even stronger meds.Her first introduction to strong meds was when she had a hysterectomy at 23 and she now is 29 and it has gotten to this point where the only thing she cares about is her drugs.I have tried my best to get her to get help but she refuses.So now we dont talk because we only end up fighting.Her oldest daughter's birthday was on Saturday and she didnt even invite me to the party.She herself was 3 hours late and left immediately afterwards and hasnt even called to check on the kids.Last week her youngest was very sick,my mother called until she finally got hold of her 2 days later and she refused to come take the child to a dr.She finally showed up after the child had been sick and out of school 4 days.
My sister used to be a wonderfull wife,mother,daughter and sister.She would do anything for anyone.She had the kindest most loving heart of any one on Earth.This person now I dont even know.This person is NOT the sister I know and love and I dont know what to do about it.
It all started in 2000 when her baby and mother in law both died in an accident.Afterwards she started down hill with depression.Then her marriage fell apart and she started taking more and more pain meds escalating from hydrocodone to even stronger meds.Her first introduction to strong meds was when she had a hysterectomy at 23 and she now is 29 and it has gotten to this point where the only thing she cares about is her drugs.I have tried my best to get her to get help but she refuses.So now we dont talk because we only end up fighting.Her oldest daughter's birthday was on Saturday and she didnt even invite me to the party.She herself was 3 hours late and left immediately afterwards and hasnt even called to check on the kids.Last week her youngest was very sick,my mother called until she finally got hold of her 2 days later and she refused to come take the child to a dr.She finally showed up after the child had been sick and out of school 4 days.
My sister used to be a wonderfull wife,mother,daughter and sister.She would do anything for anyone.She had the kindest most loving heart of any one on Earth.This person now I dont even know.This person is NOT the sister I know and love and I dont know what to do about it.
I know that I sound hard and unsmypathic.... I am not.... Its just that I have done everything in my power for the past 8 years to help my son. I have come to the realization that no one can help the addict until they are ready for the help and for them to actually do what it takes. This website has been a blessing for me. Someone told me this weekend that rehab is not for someone that needs it, It is for someone that wants it. Until for sister is willing, no one can do it for her.
Its so very sad for the children. I have a friend that has full custody of her grandchild. It has been a fight, but one very well worth it. This childs mother use to take her to crack houses and leave this 7 year old child in the car for hours... Your sister may not be that bad right now but never the less the children are suffering.
And you are right your sister is not your sister right now. Her main concern and focus is only her drug..... Not her children, her sister, her mother..... Its all about her and the drugs....
Good luck to you.... I will keep ya'll in my prayers
The father is in their lives as much as possible but he is deployed overseas right now.
I,too,am raising my 2 grandchildren and I am expecting to be given custody of her fourth child [she gave up the 3rd one for adoption] as soon as it is born in January because my own daughter is bi-polar and on drugs.Both of the grandchildren I have now were born with drugs in their systems.I live in a small 3 bedroom house along with my husband,grandchildren and my youngest daughter the when the new baby is born it will be here too,so there is no way I could get custody of them too.I would get them if I could but then I wouldnt be able to take my own grandchild.