Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
New to this board..I am co-dependent, I am working on taking care of ME for ....well, might as well be the first time. I was married for 19 years to a borderline/major depressive husband who found "greener" grass and left our 4 kids and myself. Now I am married to the father of my now almost 2 year old, another relationship where I was "needed"...that's my story in a very small nutshell.
Here is my question....(pasted from the co-dependent board where someone suggested I come here)...
So my AH is drinking...but only 1 bottle of 375ml Tequila once a week. He drinks it in one night, he "hides" the evidence, and he seems to have made it a plan to cook something for the kids and I while he does it (he drinks late at night after he gets home from work and we are all asleep).
I feel....a little lost. Not sure what to expect, as he hasn't maintained this "low" level of drinking before and he sure isn't talking about this. I don't know whether he can keep going like this, don't know what this means considering he HAS had serious alcohol problems (usually can't stop once he starts), I realize that probably what I am feeling is my lack of CONTROL!!!! I'm not enabling, but if he continues like this, and can control it...is this still alcoholism?
As usual, I'm getting a little more clarity just from venting... So...I guess just keep working on me, and try to stop worrying about HIM!
I would like to know if anyone has any ideas though!
Here is my question....(pasted from the co-dependent board where someone suggested I come here)...
So my AH is drinking...but only 1 bottle of 375ml Tequila once a week. He drinks it in one night, he "hides" the evidence, and he seems to have made it a plan to cook something for the kids and I while he does it (he drinks late at night after he gets home from work and we are all asleep).
I feel....a little lost. Not sure what to expect, as he hasn't maintained this "low" level of drinking before and he sure isn't talking about this. I don't know whether he can keep going like this, don't know what this means considering he HAS had serious alcohol problems (usually can't stop once he starts), I realize that probably what I am feeling is my lack of CONTROL!!!! I'm not enabling, but if he continues like this, and can control it...is this still alcoholism?
As usual, I'm getting a little more clarity just from venting... So...I guess just keep working on me, and try to stop worrying about HIM!
I would like to know if anyone has any ideas though!
And on a personal level...I was a binger. I don't know what to call myself, but a few blackouts, some hangovers...etc. (and watching my son throw up blood from his high potency alcoholism) convinced me to stop.
What if there was an emergency?
If it bothers you, talk about it. If he hides it and that is all you see? I would respectfully suggest that he drinks lots more than that...or will. In any regard, it is not a healthy choice. if he needs to drink to unwind, that is one thing...Hiding it? sends up huge red flags.
no, a true alcoholic (can we define it?) can't control it. I had one neighbor who was OCD and an alcoholic, and the day he died, he had to open his 4 pm beer while waiting for the ambulance to come. He was never drunk. He was never sober.