Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I have missed you - all of you.
Today's update is not about Jimmy, who is now 4 months clean. Still having a lot of trouble finding and keeping a job (we're on the 15th now), but he is in active outpatient treatment, taking his meds and getting help.
My "2nd cousin" Julie was 26 and an addict. She died yesterday. 26 years old. Jimmy saw her 8 months ago at a funeral for another family member and Julie was not doing well however she just started (from what we heard) to get her life back together.
Do I bring Jimmy to the funeral? do I use it as a teaching moment or is that being callous and insensitive? We are family, and have been together many times over the years, but her parents know Jimmy is an addict and we've discussed addiction many times. I don't want them to think I am using their daughter's funeral as a platform.
Or am I just being overly sensitive? I leave the decision to the experts. Thanks all!
Today's update is not about Jimmy, who is now 4 months clean. Still having a lot of trouble finding and keeping a job (we're on the 15th now), but he is in active outpatient treatment, taking his meds and getting help.
My "2nd cousin" Julie was 26 and an addict. She died yesterday. 26 years old. Jimmy saw her 8 months ago at a funeral for another family member and Julie was not doing well however she just started (from what we heard) to get her life back together.
Do I bring Jimmy to the funeral? do I use it as a teaching moment or is that being callous and insensitive? We are family, and have been together many times over the years, but her parents know Jimmy is an addict and we've discussed addiction many times. I don't want them to think I am using their daughter's funeral as a platform.
Or am I just being overly sensitive? I leave the decision to the experts. Thanks all!
In this circle, there are lots and lots of funerals. My son was in AA, and got so sick of going to them all...even when they get sober, it may have caused too much damage.
You can tell him you are going and offer a ride and leave it up to him.
Hugs to you. so sorry for your loss.
Jimmy is old enough to decide if he would like to go to Julie's funeral. Give him the details and support his decision. Funerals of someone so young is not easy on anyone, no matter the circumstances.
Hugs to you and Julie's family.
You can't teach Jimmy anything he isn't ready to learn. I was just told this last week by my counselor....I said I did something...hoping someone would "learn" something.
She told me I can only teach myself things.
I think him hearing about the funeral should be a teaching experience if he is teachable right now.
Would you normally go to the wake/funeral? You need to do what you would normally do....and you can ask Jimmy in passing if he wants to go? I'm thinking he would not want to ...if they weren't really close.
I agree with Jainlor - let him decide.
Big hugs